Hilarious jokes don t be cold jokes .

The guy with the physical examination is so handsome.

My best friend is interning in the ENT department of the hospital.

One day, I helped a small group of people to check, and after finishing it, he directly filled in the word "handsome" in the physical examination report.

Then, she stayed up late that night to write a 3,000-word review.

Don't believe in the end of the world.

Oriental Night News interviewed citizens on the streets whether they believed in the rumors of the end of the world.

An old mother said: "It's not a notice sent by ***, why should I believe it?" ”

I almost squirted out a sip of water that I was drinking......

The plane didn't have enough fuel.

Pilot: Tower, I'm running out of fuel.

Command Tower: Please stay calm and slow down immediately, adjust the fuselage to the best gliding angle, and see the airport?

Mom couldn't bear to kill the fish.

Mom bought a fish, and Carrefour didn't care about cleaning it up.

When I got home, I found that I was not dead, and I couldn't bear to kill, so I went online for help.

There was a man of God who said a clever trick: put some water and drown.

Winter vacation homework starts early.

I'm in my third year of junior high school, and I'll be the same right away.

Today, I sent out a lot of volumes, and the book couldn't be packed, so I took it home with my hand.

Just now, a neighbor asked me, "Did you send your winter vacation homework so early?" "When I look at it, it's really similar to winter vacation homework!

It wasn't picked up in the trash.

Most moms have lied to their children that they picked them up in the trash.

I asked my mom where I came from, and she said she gave birth to me.

I asked, "Why don't you say I picked it up in the trash?" ”

Mom said, "I'm not picking up garbage. ”

It's not easy to be a teacher.

My son, who is in elementary school: "Mom, the teacher told you to go to the parent-teacher conference tomorrow. ”

Wife: "Let your dad go." ”

Son: "No, the teacher said that Dad also taught him, and I don't want to talk about him anymore, so I have to let you go." ”

Snow White escaped from the palace and went to the forest, where she saw a small wooden house lined with seven tiny beds. Snow White lay down and fell asleep. In the evening the seven little men returned, Snow White said:

You are the seven dwarfs of my life. The seven people looked at each other, and then said, "You are in the wrong place, we are Vajra gourd babies."

The mouse is very depressed that he doesn't have a girlfriend, and finally a bat agrees to marry him, and the mouse is very happy. Others laughed at him for having no vision, Mouse: What do you know, she's a flight attendant anyway.

20 years ago, Dad hugged you and waited for the car, and everyone laughed at the child for being ugly, and Dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Big brother, don't cry, take a banana and give it to the monkey to eat!" It's pitiful, the hungry are hairless.

There was an old farmer hoeing in the field, and a crow flew by, pulled shit and fell on the old farmer's face, and the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "C your mother! I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! The crow said, "X, you and wear pants!" ”

Boss, is there a handpaper card?

I've picked it up and hope you can take it.

When I was just sifting my resume, I saw the resume of a certain graduate - award-winning experience: during the school period, he won the "one more bottle" award from Master Kong many times.

When I crossed the street, I encountered a red light, and my friend wanted to move forward, so I stopped him: "Light, wait for the light!" My friend turned back to me and said disdainfully, "You have Intel!"

Teacher: "Nobita, the teacher will give you 90 yuan, and you will borrow 10 yuan from Fat Tiger, so how much money do you have in total?" Nobita: "0 yuan." Teacher: "You don't know math at all!" Nobita: "You don't understand Fat Tiger at all!"

Where did you buy these cookies? I've been to a lot of supermarkets, but I can't get it in this shape. He said proudly

Of course I can't find it, it's the ...... I gnawed out”

Once, when I went to the supermarket to buy something and queued up, the cashier in front of me said, "Your 100 yuan is fake," and the man was shocked: "Impossible?!."This is what KFC just approached me!

On the subway, a little girl played with a wand behind my back, and she pointed it at my back: I'm going to make you ugly! After listening to this, I laughed, turned around and heard an exclamation: Mom! Mom! I'll be magical!

Do you like me? "Guess. "Like! "Guess again. ”“

A certain crew was filming outside the village. During the interval, a group of actors playing the roles of Kuomintang officers and soldiers did not unload, and then went into the village to find a toilet, and met an old peasant at the entrance of the village and asked him about the toilet. The old farmer excitedly shook the actor's hand and said:

When did you call back? Don't go to the toilet yet, I'll take you to catch the village cadres, these grandsons will run away when it's late!