How does self pity come about?

Causes and manifestations of low self-esteem.

Some friends ask: How does low self-esteem occur? In fact, everyone has it, but to different degrees.

Adler, a famous Austrian psychologist, believes that human beings have an inferiority complex, as well as the overcoming and transcendence of inferiority complex. When we were young, we saw others grow up with low self-esteem; When we are older, we find that others are richer than us; When we have money, seeing others who are younger and stronger than us will cause us to feel inferior.

In this way, low self-esteem is actually not terrible, and to some extent, low self-esteem is also the driving force that promotes a person's continuous self-improvement. If you have realized your inferiority complex and do not make a breakthrough for yourself, then inferiority is very harmful to you.

Generally speaking, the occurrence of inferiority complex is closely related to subjective and objective factors and self-evaluation factors, and its manifestations are threefold:

1. Timidity and closure:

Some people deeply feel that they are inferior to others, and that the master will undoubtedly lose in interacting with others or engaging in a certain business, so they close themselves off, do not participate in competition, do not do risky things, and firmly believe that "safety first". The more you close yourself, the less confident you are in yourself, causing a bad cycle. In fact, we have found that people with low self-esteem are less likely to take the initiative to socialize with others, and it is even more difficult to find a trace in some highly competitive careers.

2. Pride and compulsion:

That is, it is often said that excessive inferiority is manifested in excessive self-esteem, especially when the subservient way does not alleviate the pain of inferiority, and the aggressive way is adopted. People with low self-esteem, who are more aware than anyone else of not allowing themselves to be discovered by others, are so aggressive that they prevent others from understanding when they think that others may find out. It is often found that such people will find excuses for trivial things.

In fact, this kind of overkill has exposed his true inner world.

3. Follow the trend

People who have lost confidence often lack confidence in their own decisions, so they follow the crowd in order to be consistent with others, to fulfill the old adage that "a man will not be punished if he follows the crowd, and a sheep will not be beaten with a large herd". Fear of making your point of view and struggling to find the approval of others. We find a "law" for people with low self-esteem:

Before they do something, they think: Is that what other people think? Will I make people laugh when I do this?

Will it be considered a showmanship? After doing something, I thought: I don't know if I will offend people?

It would have been better if you hadn't done it just now, etc. All in all, the psychology of seeking common ground is extremely strong.

First, you feel that you are ugly, second, you feel that you are poor, third, you feel that you are very untemperamental, and fourth, you feel that you are very low and cannot do anything.

Then, you feel that others are too enviable, that others are looking at you, and that others are looking down on you.

In the end, you have low self-esteem and you feel like you can't hold your head up.

Actually, this is because: first, your expectations of yourself are too high, second, you are too good-looking, third, you lack confidence in yourself, and fourth, you have nothing to do.

The solutions are: 1. Despising everything. Second, set the goal low, eat and drink enough.

It arises when you don't know enough about yourself and others.

Low self-esteem is the kind of person who has not been understood and recognized by others for a long time, and the resentment in his heart has accumulated to a certain extent but has nowhere to confide and erupt, and over time it produces an unhealthy psychological thinking model.

There are many teenagers in life who are pessimistic. It is generally manifested as self-examination after an incident, summarizing the deficiencies, finding out the reasons for the deficiencies, and making positive adjustments in future actions. In this regard, everyone has pessimism, and it is the catalyst for a person's progress.

However, extreme pessimism is a manifestation of psychological unhealth, which can seriously affect the lives of teenagers.

The German psychologist Langnes once said: "Too many positive thoughts are easy to mislead people, and make people think that they have won when they still need to struggle." In fact, pessimistic teenagers are always focused on the impossible, and in the end they only see what is impossible.

But optimists think about what is possible, and by focusing on what is possible, they tend to be able to do what they want.

There are twins with very different personalities, the elder brother is a pessimist and the younger brother is an optimist. On Christmas Eve of the year they entered secondary school, their father wanted to give his twin sons a "personality makeover", so he prepared different gifts for them: a brand new bicycle for his brother, and a box full of horse manure for his brother.

When my brother opened the huge box, he cried, "You know I don't know how to ride a bike!" And it's snowing so hard outside!

The father sighed, only to find that the optimistic younger brother was happily digging something out of the horse manure. "Tell you, Daddy. He triumphantly proclaimed to his father, "I suppose there must be a pony hidden in the horse manure heap!"

The fundamental difference between a pessimist and an optimist is not the environment, but the difference in the way of thinking and attitude towards life.

In fact, in real life, teenagers who often think that they "can only do this anyway" often achieve excellent results. Because after this spirit of "breaking the jar and breaking it", there is another thought hidden: "Then it's not a big deal to try again."

However, whether it is a positive attitude or a negative attitude, the key to the ultimate success of teenagers is how to find beliefs and ways to motivate themselves, and then they can persevere, work hard and achieve success. Therefore, teenagers with pessimistic psychology, don't be pessimistic anymore, you must know that pessimistic personality and psychology are dark, and will cover your sunny life step by step. Remember:

In this world, the desperate situation in which man lives, in many cases, is not a desperate situation of survival, but a desperate situation of the spirit; As long as you don't break down mentally, nothing in the outside world can knock you down.