How is it reasonable to educate children about frustration?

Many people think that giving children more opportunities to experience frustration is frustration education, but in fact this is a big misunderstanding. If you think so, wouldn't children who are reprimanded by teachers and parents every day be more able to face setbacks? But why do some children end up unable to resist and choose to commit suicide?

In the final analysis, frustration education enables a person to come out of the face of failure.

Think about it, if a child fails an exam, is it better to beat him up and scold him, or to give him objective encouragement, help him, and let him learn from his mistakes so that he can get out?

Therefore, the real "frustration education" has two aspects:

On the one hand, it is to give the child enough love, so that he feels secure and makes him feel "loved".

Because when a person feels that he is loved, he will not worry about being abandoned, so he will be able to face the environment around him more strength. will not move at every turn, and maliciously understand the unintentional actions of others.

For example, a woman who has not been loved since she was a child will be very worried about her husband not loving her in marriage. No matter what the husband does, he will suspect that this kind of woman will have poor resilience in marriage. Similarly, if a person is not loved since childhood, in the work environment, he will often suspect the malice of others.

This will make them very frustrated in their lives.

On the other hand, it is necessary to encourage the child and make the child feel that "I can do it".(Note is encouragement, not praise).

When we are faced with a problem, it is very important to think "I can" or "I can't". A child who always thinks "I can do it" is naturally more capable in the face of setbacks.

Criticism and scolding of "frustration education" will only destroy children's sense of security and worth, and it is easy to cultivate a person who is very strong on the surface, but has low self-esteem and panic in his heart.

Educating children about frustration and improving their ability to cope with frustration is a sign of parenthood's foresight and love for their children. Frustration is reflected in people as an experience, called frustration, which refers to the emotional reaction of frustration, frustration, or tension that tends to occur when a person's needs are not met. In the face of setbacks, different people will have different attitudes, some will retreat, and some will move forward.

This difference has a lot to do with a person's mental outlook, knowledge, experience, and psychological preparation. Parents should first realize that early childhood is a critical period for the formation of individual personality, and consciously let children taste some of the hardships of life, so that children can understand that the road of life is bumpy, and learn to receive education in frustration, which is very necessary to cultivate their hard-working spirit, independent consciousness, courage to cope with difficulties and psychological endurance.

Gold Course for Qualified Parents.

1. Accept failure and take a correct view of setbacks.

Let children learn to accept failure and look at setbacks correctly. Parents can instill in their children from an early age the idea that life cannot be smooth sailing, and it is normal to encounter setbacks and difficulties.

When encountering difficulties, we must face them bravely and solve them, so that children can have a correct understanding of setbacks.

2. Use the frustrations of everyday life to educate.

Parents can start with the small things in daily life, such as the child breaks the bowl when washing the dishes, or writes the wrong homework, etc., through these things to pass on a concept to the child, it is normal to have setbacks in life, do not be discouraged because of this, to face it bravely, learn lessons from the setbacks, summarize experience, in order to move forward better.

3. Improve children's frustration tolerance.

Parents can appropriately let their children bear some setbacks, such as the homework assigned by the teacher is difficult, the child does it wrong or will not do it, parents should not immediately give the child the answer or complete it for the child, which will reduce the child's frustration tolerance. The right way is to give children appropriate encouragement to find and solve problems on their own, so as to improve children's frustration tolerance.

Fourth, give children appropriate encouragement and praise.

When children face setbacks, they may have negative emotions, so parents should give their children encouragement and praise in time, so that children have the confidence to face difficulties and overcome difficulties. For example, if your child does not get a good score in the exam, parents can say, "Although you did not do well in the exam this time, you have been working hard, which is commendable."

This will make your child feel cared for and supported by their parents, and boost their self-confidence.

5. Let children experience the feeling of success.

After experiencing some success, children will increase their self-confidence and self-reliance. Therefore, parents can arrange some things for their children to succeed according to their children's interests and strengths, such as doing some simple housework, puzzles, drawing, etc., so that children can experience the feeling of success, so as to enhance children's self-confidence and self-reliance.

6. Cultivate children's self-confidence and self-reliance.

In order for children to have self-confidence and self-reliance, parents need to pay more attention to their children in daily life, understand their children's interests and strengths, and provide appropriate support and help for their children. At the same time, children should also be encouraged to try new things, experience more failures and setbacks, learn from the experience and lessons, and enhance self-confidence and self-reliance.

In short, correct frustration education can help children better face setbacks and difficulties in life, enhance children's self-confidence and self-reliance, and improve children's frustration tolerance. Parents should start from the small things in life, pass on the correct values and attitudes to their children, so that children can grow up in setbacks, so as to better adapt to social life.

1. Don't do it all.

Many parents hope to pave a smooth road for their children, in fact, this is very unrealistic, because this not only affects the child's communication ability, but also is not conducive to the formation of the child's good will, but also will cause the child to grow up difficult to adapt to social life, easy to produce inferiority, depression and other bad psychology.

When children encounter setbacks in communication, parents should not feel that their children have suffered a lot of grievances and are busy helping their children solve difficulties, but should give their children the opportunity to exercise, so that children can continue to improve their communication skills in the process of experiencing setbacks and overcoming difficulties.

2. Don't laugh at your child.

It is inevitable that children lack social experience and are prone to frustration in their interactions. When a child makes a mistake, parents should not laugh at the child or blame the child for the mistake. Parents should pay attention to cultivating their children's spirit of not being arrogant in victory and not being discouraged in defeat.

3. Don't educate your child about frustration excessively.

Parents should pay attention to the moderation and appropriate amount of frustration education given to their children, and the situation set for the child needs to have a certain degree of difficulty, which can cause the child's frustration, but it should not be too difficult, and the child can overcome it through hard work.

At the same time, let the child face too many problems, moderate and moderate setbacks can allow the child to adjust his mentality, choose external behaviors correctly, and overcome difficulties. However, excessive frustration education will dampen children's self-confidence and enthusiasm, and make children lose interest and confidence.

The child's personality will become inferior and sensitive.

For anything the child does, the parents just blindly deny the child, then, it is bound to make the child become inferior, in the child's subconscious, will think that their parents do not like themselves, otherwise why do they do anything, parents deny themselves?

The denial of parents is a kind of harm to the child, not only the verbal harm, but also the child's young heart, and gradually the child will become less and less confident.

Second, children will hate their parents.

Parents use repressive education to educate their children, although parents feel that they are doing it for the good of their children, but the children do not appreciate it.

Children will remember how their parents suppressed them and how hurtful their words were, and maybe their parents used suppression to train themselves to be talents, but they will not be grateful to their parents, but will hate their parents.

Because they hated their parents' way of upbringing, they hurt themselves a lot by what they said, and they still remember what their parents said to themselves.

Third, it will backfire and make the child rebellious.

Sometimes children are fed up with the resigned life and will try to resist, and at this time, the children will act aggressively to express their dissatisfaction.

Gradually, the child will become more and more rebellious, and in the end, the parents will no longer be able to control their children, and can only watch their children embark on a road of no return.

In education: Outstanding parents only do three thingsParents treat their children in no more than three situations: one is to manage everything, always manage, do a lot of things, but the effect is not good; the second doesn't care about anything, does nothing, lets it go, ignores it, and the result is even worse; The third is that it is also managed but not fully managed, and it is not done much, but it is to the point, and the child's growth is smooth sailing.

Obviously, "doing everything" and "doing nothing" are too extreme and biased, and it is not possible to caries that prominent parents have always chosen to "do something and not do something", or more specifically, only do three things.

First things first: develop a good parent-child relationship.

A good relationship is better than a lot of education. When parents have a good relationship with their children, it is easy to succeed in their children's education; When you have a bad relationship with your child, your child's education is prone to failure. The key to establishing a good parent-child relationship lies in "positioning":

1. Don't be a "judge" and learn to be a "lawyer".

Some parents can't wait to become "judges" when they see that their children are wrong, which is very dangerous.

Children's inner world is rich and colorful, and parents need to actively influence and educate their children, and it is impossible to talk about it without understanding their inner world. The first key to understanding your child is to take care of their self-esteem, defend their rights, and become their trusted and respected friend.

That is, parents should treat their children like "lawyers" treat their clients, understand their inner needs, and always take the protection of their legal rights as the only purpose.

2. Don't be a "referee" and learn to be a "cheerleader".

In the arena of life, children can only work their own. Parents should be the "cheerleaders" of their children, not only to be good at discovering and praising their children, but also to guide their children to face failures correctly and be their children's comrades-in-arms before setbacks.

Education is even a small growth worthy of a seal.

For example, I prefer to call it knowing the real world. There are many opportunities for adventure in the real world, such as letting the child climb high and be afraid, you can consider letting him overcome it through parental demonstration and verbal encouragement, and there are setbacks and retreats in the process, as long as the result cultivates the child's courage, from easy to difficult, I think it is feasible and effective.

First of all, let the child complete a thing as independently as possible, and then let him see his own shortcomings. In addition, parents can set up some obstacles to poke his sharpness and let him know that there are many things in society that are not as simple as he imagined. Third, make children willing to solve problems on their own and accept challenges.

Finally, it is necessary to let children realize that there are victories and defeats in life, and they cannot be carried away by victories or defeated by failures.

Clause. 1. Set up problems, set up problemsThe nature and extent of the difficulties we set should be based on the actual situation of the child and the conditions of the person. The problems set for them should be overcome through hard work, or can be solved under the guidance and inspiration of adults, just like an apple that can be picked by jumping, which will make children feel the joy of success, so as to enhance confidence and improve courage.

Clause. Second, frank communication to give care, frank communication between children and parents, this kind of conversation is conducive to children to overcome difficulties, to cultivate children from an early age to be willing to talk to their parents habits, every day to take some time in a relaxed and happy atmosphere, and children to talk about life and aspirations, so that children undisguised to reveal their own ideals, talk about their own difficulties and setbacks. Through communication, children can feel the support and trust of their parents, which increases their self-confidence.

Clause. 3. Regulate emotions, cultivate children's ability to regulate and control their emotions from an early age, train children to self-suggestion, self-relaxation, self-comfort, self-enlightenment, etc., learn self-restraint from primary school, and take the initiative to transfer the activity venue and content to get rid of unpleasant emotions caused by frustration as soon as possible.

1. Let children face up to setbacks.

When children encounter setbacks, they are often sad, in fact, this is a normal emotional expression, parents do not need to amplify this emotion, find that the child's mood is not right, immediately comfort and praise.

We need to tell our children with empathy that it would be sad if I were you and that I would encounter such difficulties, so it is normal for them to have such emotions, so that they can emotionally face up to the frustrations they have experienced.

2. Increase children's courage to overcome difficulties.

When a child is faced with setbacks, the courage not to be afraid is very rare. Ordinary frustration education is naturally the best way to enhance children's courage in the face of difficulties.

Parents should encourage their children more, increase their children's self-confidence, and the courage they have accumulated will help their children go further, and they will persevere when they face difficult things again.

3. Let children learn to analyze setbacks.

The meaning of failure lies in learning from experience and not repeating the mistakes of the past, and there are many things worth thinking about in the process of failure. When we suffer setbacks, is there any way to remedy them? What should we do if we encounter the same problem next time?

This is an opportunity for your child to grow up quickly, because in failure, children can know what they are lacking and what they can do better. Learning to analyze frustration is the only way to make better use of failure to help children improve.

4. Let children learn to be independent.

Parents should have a correct mentality, do not help their children do everything, let their children do what they can, and cultivate their children's ability to handle things independently and solve problems from an early age.

For example, eating, washing your face and brushing your teeth, these are good opportunities to cultivate children, and parents should give their children opportunities to let them really solve problems. Only when children really experience it can they grow.