A child who can lie is more promising? Reasons why the child lies

When it comes to lying, we have to talk about integrity, when we were children, adults often taught us to be honest and not to lie, so deep in our hearts we formed such a consciousness: integrity = not lying.

In fact, this is an educational misunderstanding and a wrong consciousness, real integrity is not equal to not lying, integrity and not lying are very different in nature, the essence of the former is a moral ideology, the latter is just a behavior, behavior can only be used as a manifestation of ideology, an ideology can determine a variety of behaviors, and a behavior can also be determined by different consciousness, for example: if you are a national intelligence officer, you will definitely swear allegiance when you join this organization, Keep the organization secret. When outsiders ask you about the organization's secrets, will you tell you the truth?

Of course not, if doing so is a betrayal of the organization and a betrayal of the oath, what kind of integrity can there be, then it is inevitable to lie, and who will blame him for lying in order to keep the country's secrets? From this point of view, in fact, lying is sometimes a manifestation of integrity, and not lying does not necessarily mean integrity.

Therefore, true integrity is relative and targeted. There is no such thing as absolute integrity. Being honest does not mean that you have to tell the truth in everything and you can't lie in everything.

True honesty is to have a sense of integrity, put it in your brain, use it when you should use it, and don't use it when you shouldn't. Just like spending money, if the money is used to finance transactions, it should be used for the real function of the money, and when it is not used, it will be saved, who will take the banknotes as a meal?

So saying that "children who can lie are more promising" makes sense, but it is not comprehensive.

Yes, this society ... But it depends on what kind of panic you tell and how you lie. If you don't have the technology, be honest... Don't lie too much, people with questionable character will not have a future.

Be an honest person, only by believing in the foundation can you gain a foothold in society, and it is okay to tell a white lie once in a while.

The world when a child is born is a blank slate. And how this blank piece of paper depicts a colorful world, parents need to worry about it. Many children have the problem of lying, and when they encounter this, their parents are often willing to expose it to their faces.

or a scolding of the head and face, few parents will analyze what the cause is and how it is caused. There are even parents who don't care much about their children and rarely go into their world.

1. Children lie often because we are too demanding.

I don't usually take much care of my children, but I am very demanding in some aspects. For example, how many points must be scored on the exam, and the homework must be excellent. In such situations, children are often the most likely to lie.

There are more than 50 students in a class, and not every one of them can study well. There are many factors that contribute to this, and some parents tend not to pay attention to their children's homework, but when it comes to the exam, they ask their children to score a lot. Many children can't meet their parents' requirements because their grades have come down, and at this time they will lie to their parents and get high scores.

In their minds, it is a day to be able to hide it, and sometimes the teacher will hide it when he doesn't announce it.

Therefore, parents should go into the world of their children more, understand them, and care for them. It's not just about setting goals and tasks for them. We should also care more about them from our daily life and study, only in this way can children achieve the goals we want.

2. Because you like something, you will lie about your behavior.

This is more common in the early childhood stage, when children like something in kindergarten, they quietly put it in their bags and take it home. Because I was worried about my parents scolding, I lied that it was given by my classmates. There are still many such cases, but many parents ignore and let it go regardless of whether they know the real situation or not.

This is a very dangerous signal, smart parents will ask harshly, at this time the child's confidence is insufficient, he will admit it. Then the parents patiently guided and reflected on what they were doing wrong and not doing well. Through positive coping, children can develop behavioral habits in early childhood.

3. Parents should also reflect on their own behavior and set a good example for their children.

One of the mistakes we often make is that many parents like to brag about themselves in front of others and in front of their children. In fact, these things are not true, and there is no such thing. But children also keep in mind, and sometimes in order to gain the love of their classmates, they also brag about some untrue things in front of them, which is not good.

So parents are the best teachers for their children, what you do, he will learn. Parents are honest and trustworthy, and children will also be sincere to people and things.

Therefore, in the face of children's lying, we must guide them correctly, enter their world more, and understand them more. And set a good example for your children.

Because children are afraid of their parents, they are afraid that they will be blamed and scolded after telling the truth.

Fear of parents, parents, teachers, and criticism.

The reason why the child lies, the parents can not be absent on the road of the child's psychological growth, the baby's intellectual development is very important, all say "I will become you when I grow up", parents should provide better learning and life for the child, and share the reasons why the child lies.

1. Self-protection

In order to escape some kind of unpleasant and painful ending, such as parental reprimand or punishment, etc.;

2. Refuse to accept reality

The child wants to use lying to soothe his painful memories and feelings;

3. Imitation

Lying can be a vice learned from adults or others;

4. Boasting

To satisfy vanity, some children boast about themselves to get the attention or appreciation of others;

5. Reality checking

Lying out of curiosity about the world, trying to distinguish between fact and fantasy;

6. Sense of partnership

sometimes lying to protect partners;

7. Hostility

Lying to discredit someone out of hostile feelings;

8. Profit-seeking

Lying in order to gain some advantage;

9. Mistakes are mistakes

Due to the misunderstanding of others, some children are called small **, and over time, these children themselves have accepted this kind of saying, and they will be wrong, broken and broken;

10. Make the fake come true

Some parents sometimes see their children's lying in play or life as a sign of cleverness, and instead of stopping it, they approve or pander. Over time, the child will become a fake and develop a bad habit;

11. The consequences of not being trusted or often misunderstood

Some parents are often skeptical of their children's words, and in the long run, these children prefer to lie. In this regard, children in the rebellious period are particularly prominent;

12. Lying unconsciously

Some children, especially young children, sometimes don't even know what a lie is. Or they don't have a clear understanding of things and unconsciously tell lies.

What to do if your child lies

1. Parents themselves should set a good example and try to avoid unnecessary lies and excuses.

2. Mutual trust and understanding between parents and children is a prerequisite for children's honesty. Let your child know that even if he lies, you still love him and that you can understand his feelings.

3. Once the child has lied, discuss with the child what better ways to replace lying next time they encounter a similar situation.

5. If you find that your child is lying, do not immediately accuse or lecture him in front of others, it is best to find another suitable time to talk to your child alone.

6. In most cases, children lie because they are afraid of being punished, so let your child say as much as possible why he is afraid that his parents will know, so that you can know the reason why the child is lying.

7. Usually care more about the child's life, the requirements for the child should be realistic, the child does something wrong, do investigation and research, and encourage the child to establish positive behavior.

8. If your child has the courage to admit that he has done something wrong, please praise him immediately with special language.

9. If the child still lies repeatedly, it is best for parents to understand the reasons for the child's lying, analyze it carefully, and consult a child psychologist if necessary.

Why do children lie, I think that at the beginning, it was because of the subconscious protection of themselves, and later it was discovered that lying can escape scolding, so parents should face it correctly from the beginning.

In fact, lying is an instinct, people subconsciously feel that what they say will bring trouble to themselves, and they will lie out of protection for themselves, and they don't need to be taught at all.

My child will "lie" when he can talk: who threw away the garbage? Mom; Who doesn't eat well? Mom, everything is done by the mother anyway, and it has nothing to do with the baby.

Now two years old, occasionally after taking a shower before I have time to wear diapers, wrapped in a bath towel to pee, I found out and asked her, "Are you peeing", she said no, but ask more she will be confident, "Yes, the baby peed".

Adults also often lie, such as buying very expensive things, and when they are afraid that their parents or partners will blame, they will not tell the truth, and our parents will also lie for fear of their children's blame at this time.

Parents will also lie a little in order to temporarily reassure their children, of course, if parents are true to their word, there is no such thing as lying, but most of the time parents will forget the promises they made, and it will become a lie.

Lying doesn't seem like a very excessive thing at all, but if children often don't tell the truth to their parents, it's still quite nerve-wracking, and the solution is quite simple.

1. From the time the child is young, try to be true to his word, and try to remember the things he promised the child, which can be regarded as leading by example and being an example of integrity for the child.

2. Don't scold your child for lying, ask more, when your child tells the truth, praise him and reward him, and admit if you do something wrong, there will be no terrible consequences.

Therefore, I think that children will lie because they subconsciously protect themselves, and later they find that lying can escape scolding, so parents should face it correctly from the beginning.

In fact, very young children sometimes can't tell the difference between imagination and reality, so sometimes they don't speak realistically, not because they are lying, but because of the above reasons. As they grow up, they may find that they can solve a lot of scolding and even beating with lies, so they learn to lie. The reason for this, many times, is to cater to the parents, make the parents "happy", so as to avoid punishment for them.

My child who listened to "The Little Brother Who Broke the Cup", after listening to it, asked his mother, what is honesty? Mom said that she would say whatever she did, and she would be honest. For example, if the mouse brother accidentally broke the cup, he told his mother that the cup was broken by the mouse brother.

That's honesty. Then I would tell my child that he had torn the book before, and then tell his mother that he had torn it while reading it, so that I would be honest. At a young age, he understood, and nodded to his mother.

Some children's mothers ask them to drink water when they go to kindergarten, and it is best to fill a pot of water, and the mother will only bring something for them to eat when she goes to kindergarten to pick them up. But sometimes if it weren't for the teacher's reminder, they really didn't know how to drink water, so they often went home with water in the cup, and the children who were still looking forward to eating had nothing to eat.

When children are older, they will find that many times parents still do not distinguish the boundaries and always want to control them remotely. In order to get rid of this control, children will use lies against their parents. At this time, parents still need to reflect on themselves, distinguish clear boundaries, and cannot manipulate their children, let alone achieve their goal of controlling their children in the name of their own good.

Everyone has their own space, and it should be done in moderation.

[1] Why do children lie?

In psychology, there is a famous "peeking experiment" about children lying, the experimenter will lead the children to a room, the experimenter will put a "magic toy" in the room and cover it with a cloth, ask the children not to secretly open it, and then the experimenter will leave the room.

Almost all children go to see it, but when asked if they have a peek, the results are different.

It is not only normal for children to be able to lie, but it is also one of the signs of their healthy development. Often children begin to lie when they are two-and-a-half to three-year-old, often to cover up their little mistakes or to fulfill their own little wishes.

3. Children lie unconsciously.

I remember when my worm was three years old, he often lied unconsciously. One time when it was time to eat, I asked her, "Baby, are you eating?" "If you don't eat, it's uncomfortable everywhere. ”

Do you think the child is lying? Or is it clever and eloquent? Therefore, parents do not need to be too nervous when their children are panicking, and the most important thing is to understand the secrets behind their children's lies.

Why do children lie? Star Awareness Project

Here's the root of a child's love of lying!