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No, I'm just worried that I can't finish the housework, and the reason for the fear: I am the only daughter in the family, and my parents have regarded me as the pearl of their palms since I was a child, and I have never done housework, at most tidying up my own hut or something. But after getting married, it's different, you have to learn to cook and wash clothes, mop the floor, clean the room, and these few things alone can take up most of the rest time......I really want to live under the shadow of my parents for the rest of my life, so that I don't have a headache with housework.
Tips: Every woman will become a housewife. Unfortunately, "housewife" is not a word to be proud of in China at the moment, because the housework associated with it has always been ignored and even despised by society and men.
We can't let men experience the tediousness and toil of housework as in the joke, but the value of housework, like any other labor, is the dignity and value of a housewife, and it must not be lightly brushed aside.
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There should be someone who has a premarital phobia, because I've heard examples of this before. Some people are very good when they fall in love, but once they get married, they start to be afraid, they feel as if marriage is a feeling that makes him experience life and death, and then he doesn't dare to get married, thinking of life after marriage, and then he is very afraid, maybe this kind of person has enjoyed Shanghai together, and then he can't believe in love, and then he is particularly afraid, after marriage, the relationship between the two people is not good, and they are facing divorce, so now there are many people who don't want to find a partner, 28 break up, They feel that they can fall in love with someone, but they are always afraid that they will leave them when they talk to the person they love. <>
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Yes, arranged marriage, I don't know enough about my future husband Reason for fear: I was introduced to him by relatives, because we worked in two cities, we only met three times in half a year, and our family members said that we were not young, urging us to get married on this May Day. But I don't know him yet, his living habits, his circle of friends, and even whether he is single-minded, I don't know if he has talked about his girlfriend, it's really helpless, every time I think of this, my head is big, I really don't want to get married ......Tips:
Men and women need to constantly strengthen their understanding of each other and deepen their relationship, which is the most important psychological preparation before marriage. If this preparation is not sufficient, no matter how complete other preparations are, it will not guarantee the happiness of married life, even if there are all the material preparations before marriage, it is difficult to make up for the psychological damage and maintain the sincere love of the husband and wife.
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It is normal for some people to have fear before marriage, because when a person's life is about to undergo a predictable major change, it is normal for him to have a fear of an uncertain life, but with the beginning of a new life, he will gradually adjust his psychology and gradually adapt.
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"Marital phobia" is a long-term, abnormal, and unrealistic fear of marriage or intimacy.
As for why there is a fear of marriage, there are the following psychological reasons:
1) Trauma in childhood.
Every kind of constant intimidation can be found in the final analysis, in the past, in childhood.
It is generally believed in modern science that fear of a thing can be traced back to external trauma and internal heredity.
The reason why marriage-phobes are full of fear of marriage is probably because most of them have been hurt by their parents and family in childhood, and they are extremely unconfident in marriage and do not believe in love.
Marriage-phobic people often say that they are emotionally traumatized or have the shadow of their parents' marriage breaking down.
Therefore, many people are afraid that they will have the same experience as their original family in marriage. Therefore, the fear of contact with the opposite sex and the fear of establishing intimate relationships is actually a manifestation of insecurity and fear of abandonment.
2) Don't dare to face responsibility.
Many people have been single for a long time, feel free, do not get married, have no children, and have no constraints.
In fact, it's not that they really hate marriage, it's just that there are too many unknown variables hidden in marriage, which they really can't accept and passively change.
What's more, it's easy to fall in love and difficult to get married, there are no economic conditions, few people dare to get married, the pressure is too great, it's too scary.
In the traditional ideology of the Chinese people, marriage is to perpetuate hope and pass on the lineage. There are only melons and seeds, and there are no children and melons, and the overwhelming response to married life has discouraged many people.
All of this is really just two words: "escape".
People who dare not get married because they are afraid or avoid it have also become part of the army of marriage-phobia, simply because they do not want to take responsibility for themselves.
In the end, they may not be able to withstand the strong demands of their relatives and find someone to marry hastily, but most of those marriages end in unhappiness.
3) Fear that there is no love in the marriage.
Would you choose a relationshipless marriage?
I'm sure many people's answer is no!
A marriage without love is even hard to speak, and getting along without feelings is a dream along with a bed.
It is always said that marriage is the grave of love. This quote also serves as a reason for an ideal lover to refuse to marry in pursuit of true love.
How easy it is to fall in love! The happiness of the two people is pure and beautiful, not mixed with all kinds of trivial things in life, and it does not involve the details between the two families. It's just that two people have come together because of feelings and hormones.
But this is not a fear of marriage, it is a fear of growing up.
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Premarital phobia is the fear of marriage caused by certain factors before marriage. In general, the reason for fear is the fear that marriage is the grave of love, the fear that the relationship after marriage will not be handled properly, the fear that one will not know the other and the other is not the type you like, the fear that the other person will fall in love with the other, the fear that he will not be able to do housework, so that he can cross this threshold in his heart and accept the benefits of others. In the meantime, he can talk to his girlfriend and get him released.
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Personally, I think this may be a typical phenomenon of young people at present, indicating that this person has a certain sense of insecurity in life, and at the same time has a certain fear of the unknown life.
I don't know if you have noticed this phenomenon, with the continuous improvement of material living standards, although many people's living standards are getting better and better, but the pressure is also becoming more and more great, many young people have begun to have a fear of marriage, and some people are even unwilling to marry and have children too early. I think the reason for this is mainly related to the boundaries of each person's sense of security.
We can understand premarital phobia as an anticipation and worry about the unknown life.
This is easy to understand, because when we live alone, our life is under the control of the individual, but if we get married, then our life becomes the life of two people, or even the life of two families. For those who are insecure, their premarital phobia will be especially noticeable, as they fear that marriage will reduce their quality of life and even make their lives out of control. <>
The life of young people is also too stressful now.
As I mentioned above, because young people's lives are very stressful these days, young people are generally reluctant to get married and have children. Let's take an example, the cost of marriage in first-tier cities has reached millions of yuan, and houses are also very expensive. But not every young person can have such excellent material conditionsIn the case of average material conditions, young people will naturally feel particularly stressed, and at the same time the phenomenon of premarital phobia will appear.
Some young people are very afraid of taking responsibility.
This point needs to be continued for the previous reason, it is precisely because many young people are under too much pressure at present, so they are very afraid of taking responsibility, and we must know that marriage is a responsible thing. Whether it is for boys or girls, marriage is a big deal for them, and many people are afraid that they will not be able to take on the responsibility of marriage, so they will have premarital phobia. <>
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Because everyone says that marriage is the grave of love, and after getting married, the pressure of work and life is very high, so I am afraid of getting married.
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Premarital phobia is a reaction to resist marriage due to fear of changes that will occur after marriage. This is mainly due to the patient's insecurity and inability to adapt to the changes that come with marriage. Generally, the symptoms will disappear on their own after marriage, and there will be no sequelae.
Patients are advised to communicate with a friend or partner in a timely manner to relieve symptoms.
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Because of insecurity, I am afraid that the relationship between the two people will become weaker and weaker after getting married, and I can't stand the pressure of life.
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1.Worried about not getting along well with the man's family.
After getting married, every aspect of life changes, not just living with loved ones, but also parents, siblings, relatives, and so on. Because everyone's personality is different, there will inevitably be differences. Learn how to live in harmony with them.
Before and after marriage, it is necessary to create more conditions to get acquainted with them to prevent others from breaking into their lives and becoming nervous after marriage, which will affect the relationship between husband and wife.
2.Don't believe in long-term relationships.
Although everyone expects a good relationship at the beginning, because modern society is a rapidly changing society, there are many feelings that can never be talked about. Perhaps because of this, some people feel that there is no long-term love in this world, and it is a waste of time and life to not be able to go to the end after being with a person. Perhaps it is precisely because of this extreme distrust of feelings that premarital phobia develops.
3.Married friends around me are complaining about marriage.
From ancient times to the present, people's fantasies about love have always been sweet and beautiful, and they also hope to meet sweet love. But as I get older, my circle of friends continues to expand, and there are more and more friends who get married. However, at this time, we sadly find that whenever married friends talk to you about their marriage, they mostly complain.
Many times, they will tell you that if you can choose again and never get married, they will also tell you all kinds of misfortunes in marriage, the incomprehension of your lover, the difference of ideas, the quarrel between the two heads every three days, etc. After listening to these words, my expectations for love will gradually decrease, and I don't want to get married. Premarital phobia appears.
4.Take love too seriously.
People who value feelings very much, as long as they decide, it is a lifelong thing. It's because of prudence that I don't dare to make a decision lightly. Because of the importance of affection, I have great expectations for marriage.
Their married life, family integration, and getting along with their parents-in-law can all kinds of situations that will bother them. On the one hand, they worry about whether their married life is what they are looking forward to, and on the other hand, they worry about whether everything will go well, etc. There are great expectations for marriage, which leads to a lot of anxiety and worry.
It ended up being a panic mentality.
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They have a sense of uncertainty about marriage, which means that they are very insecure in their hearts, and it also shows that they are not so optimistic about each other's future.
Your premarital phobia.
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