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A conversation between two little girls who are probably in junior high school was heard on the bus.

A: Hey, did your parents agree with him?

B: Well, my mom agreed, and she thinks he's very good, very honest. My dad was a little reluctant and thought I was too young.

A: What is small? I'm not a primary school student anymore, what are you afraid of?

B: Well, I thought so too.

A: So ??? now?

B: Of course he's staying with us now! My mom started affectionately calling him her son La! Hehe.

A: That's great! I really envy you, my mother is not so open-minded! So where does he sleep at night?

B: Of course you sleep in my room! ^_

A: Huh? Your mom let him sleep in your room?

B: Yes! — The surprised gaze of the occupants ———

A: Tell me how you feel?

B: Feelings? Sleeping with him in my arms feels much more solid than before. Hehe.

A: That's right, that's right! Aren't they tired every day?

B: Well, I thought it was hard at first, but then I got used to it and thought it was pretty good, but he was generally more energetic.

A: Hehe, then you ......Then you usually wear a condom for him, right?

B: Of course I advocate that he should wear a condom My mother also means this, saying that he brought safety but he didn't mean to bring it so originally.

A: No, I feel uncomfortable looking at it with that! When I have it myself, I won't bring it to him! Hehe.

B: It's better to bring it, we must be young, I went to buy him the biggest one the day before yesterday! Now I have to talk for half a day every day before I can bring it to him.

— The strange gaze of the person in the car ———

A: Hey! I'm so envious of you!

What is there to envy? Either so, do you have time for the weekend? Have time to come to my house to play? It's okay to stay in my house.

A: Live in your house? Where do I sleep in your house?

B: Sleep with us, of course?

I'm usually tired at night, and I can rest when you come, so he'll trouble you?

A: Hehe, am I successful?

B: No problem, trust me, I'll be there to guide you.

A: Well, well, just this once.

B: I promise you'll fall in love with him after this time.

—The surprised gaze of the person in the car ———

A: Don't be afraid, if I really like it, I will grind my mother and buy me a purebred Scottish Shepherd.

B: Okay, I bought a pair that happened to be with mine, remember to buy the largest neck cover when buying a dog leash, and buy a few sturdy ball ......

1. Yesterday I dreamed that God said that it could fulfill one of my wishes, I took out the globe and said that I wanted world peace, he said it was too difficult to change it, I took out your ** and said that I wanted this person to be beautiful, he pondered for a while and said that I will take a look at the globe.

2. A woman is ugly, can't get married, and hopes to be trafficked. finally made his dream come true, but he couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnappers sent it back, she resolutely did not get out of the car, and the kidnappers gritted their teeth and stomped their feet: go, the car is gone.

Years ago, Dad hugged you and waited for the car, and everyone laughed at the child's ugly looks, and Dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Big brother, don't cry, take a banana and give it to the monkey to eat!" It's pitiful, the hungry are hairless. ”

4. On the plane, a parrot said to the flight attendant: "Give me a glass of water", and the pig also learned from the parrot and said to the flight attendant: "Give me a glass of water", the flight attendant was furious and threw the parrot and the pig off the plane. Then the parrot said to the pig, "Be stupid, you can fly." ”

5. There was an old farmer hoeing in the field, and a crow flew by, pulled shit and fell on the old farmer's face, and the old farmer raised his head and scolded: "Rely on your mother!" I don't know how to wear a pair of pants when I go out! The raven said, "Damn! You're and wearing pants! ”

1. There is a female classmate who is darker, and her boyfriend is too white. One day, a dormitory classmate said, "You are not suitable, you will give birth to zebra ......."”

2. The adjustment of the faculties of a university has been successfully completed, and all departments have been listed as "colleges" regardless of size. At the summary meeting, the principal generously stated: "From now on, our school will have no department. ”

3. The female English teacher asked the students with a smile: "What is the tense when I say 'I am beautiful'?" The students said in unison, "Past tense, teacher." ”

4. When he was in middle school, he was fascinated by watching "Smiling Proud Jianghu" in an English class, and overheard the English teacher talk about the "Eight Great Tenses", he hurriedly stood up and corrected and said: "Teacher, there are not so many teachers, there are only three, could it be that you include the little junior sister?" ”

5. One day when I entered the classroom, a boy had a fight with a girl, and the teacher asked him why he bullied the girl, and he said, "She caught a mosquito and put it on my arm to bite me!" ”

On the 1st of the month, some people went to class and had breakfast as usual. The teacher talked for a few minutes and finally stopped and said, "It's okay to bring breakfast to the classroom, but don't eat it in class." Forget it, today is Children's Day, forgive you! ”

7. A science student scolded: "You are simply a solution to x+2 4!" The scolded thought for a long time before he figured out that the answer was "two to positive infinity".

1.Hospital, an electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask

My son is three years old and knows how to count from one to ten, and he also knows how to count five to one. I'm always there.

Find an opportunity to teach him and ask him which is bigger than the puppy and kitten. The hole is good.

Once, I took one piece of chocolate in my left hand and two pieces of chocolate in my right hand and asked him, "Where?"

More on one side? ”。Quarreling with my son no, I continued to ask with a trembling heart, and my son suddenly let go.

He cried loudly and said, "There are very few on either side!" ”

Three little pigs, pig A's name is called"Who", pig B's name is called"Where", pig C's name is"What"。One day, Pig A and Pig B were standing at the door, and Pig C was on the roof. A wolf spotted them and wanted to eat them, so he rushed to pig A ......

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: That's right! Wolf: What?

Pig A: What's on the roof.

Wolf: I'm asking what is your name?

Pig A: Who am I called, what is on the roof.

The wolf asked Pig B again.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig B: I am not who it is, who it is (pointing to Pig A).

Wolf: Do you know it?

Pig B: Yes. Wolf: Who is it?

Pig B: Yes.

Wolf: What? Pig B: What's on the roof.

Wolf: Where? Pig B: Where's me?

Wolf: Who? Pig B: Who is it (pointing to Pig A again).

Wolf: How do I know?

Pig B: You look for it"Who"？

Wolf: What? Pig B: It's on the roof.

Wolf: Where? Pig B: It's me.

Wolf: Who? Pig B: I'm not who I am, who it is.

Wolf: Oh my God! Pig A Pig B:"OMG"It's our dad.

Wolf: What, your father?

Pig B: No!

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore and looked up to the sky and sighed:"Why? "

Pig A, B, C: Do you know our grandfather?

Mega Wolf: What?

Pig A: No, why our grandfather.

Wolf: Why?

Pig A: Yes! Wolf: What is it?

Pig A: No, it is"Why? "。

Wolf: Who? Pig A: Who am I?

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: yes, who am I.

Wolf: What? Pig A, B: It's on the roof.

In the end, the wolf committed suicide...

Three of my big loves, cold jokes, I don't know if I've heard the draft, and I typed out the ant search, not copy:

1.There is a rabbit that jumps twice with its left leg, then three times with its right leg, and then squats down and jumps slowly with both legs, why is that? — because it willing.

2.A little bird was shot by a gun, but it's still flying, why? — because it's strong.

3.Another bird was also shot, but it was still flying, why? (The answer is not the same as the previous one).

— Because the previous bird told it: be strong!

1. There is a hide-and-seek club, and the leader of his Kai Gang has not yet been found. 2. There is a person who looks like an onion, and he cries when he walks. 3. On a hot afternoon, there was a match that tickled, scratched, scratched, and then caught fire.

So he went to the hospital to bandage it, and when he came out, it turned into a cotton swab. 4. Why don't medium-rare steaks say hello to medium-rare steaks? Because they don't know each other.

5. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. Banana, who was walking in front of the staring god, suddenly felt so hot, and he said, "It's so hot, I'm going to take off my clothes." As a result, he peeled off the skin.

As a result, the banana in the back fell. 6. Once upon a time, there was a bun walking on the road and he felt hungry and ate himself. Once upon a time there was a loaf of bread walking down the street, and he felt hungry, so he ate himself.

Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who went to play ball and played for a long time, and he said, "I'm so tired, I feel like I'm going limp." 7. Once upon a time, there was a bird who would pass by a corn field every day, but unfortunately, one day the corn field was shipped to a fire, and all the corn turned into popcorn!

The bird flew over and ......I thought it was snowing, and I died of cold. 8. Xiao Ming got a new haircut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and said with a smile: Xiao Ming, your head shape looks like a kite!

Xiao Ming felt very aggrieved, so he ran outside to cry, crying and crying, and he flew up.

There is a medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak, why not say hello when walking on the road? Because they are not familiar.