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Generally speaking, it is difficult to live together without contradictions, but it is really impossible to separate for various reasons, so it is polite.
A little get along, that is, the kind that is very polite and respectful, and it is good to keep a long psychological distance, because dislike is mutual, and this kind of politeness can avoid conflicts.
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Well, good problem, it is recommended to solve it through your husband, if he is unwilling to solve it or a little perfunctory, a bowl of water is not level, does not protect you, it is recommended to stay away, this kind of husband does not want to be, too cowardly will only hurt yourself.
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Father-in-law and mother-in-law take money very seriously, and as a daughter-in-law, they can't change it, so they can't get used to it, so don't look at it, and live their own lives!
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If you are not used to your father-in-law's practice, you can move out to live, whether you buy a house or rent a house, and live your own life without interfering with each other.
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That's your father-in-law's business, what does it have to do with you, you have a good relationship with your husband, what does it have to do with your father-in-law. My father-in-law looks at his own money as his own money, not your money, she snubs her, she will be lazy if she eats, and if she doesn't die, won't she do it? It doesn't matter to you.
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Of course, it's not easy to get along with such people, but there's no way, it's all people in their own families, maybe older people are like this!
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Just ask to be separated from your parents-in-law!
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When I meet a selfish and vexatious father-in-law, to be honest, my luck is really poor, but since I have encountered it, I have had a similar experience to you, so I have summarized the following methods for your reference.
1. Try not to take their selfish actions to heart.
Selfish in-laws, no matter what selfish behavior you do, you don't take it seriously, they are such a person, even if they don't speak well and who they love, but if their selfish behavior affects your little family life, then you have to say, resolutely, let them know that you usually don't argue about right and wrong does not mean that you are really ruthless and let them bully.
2. Stay away from your father-in-law and try to stay away from the central area where conflicts may occur.
For selfish fathers-in-law, the best thing to do is to stay away from each other. After all, if you don't stay together all year round, you can reduce a lot of conflicts, because if you are a very selfish in-law, maybe you live under the same roof with them, the conflicts will proliferate, so staying away is also the best option.
3. Don't live under the same roof.
Maintain an optimal safe distance.
It is said that couples should not live under the same roof as their in-laws. In addition to being inconvenient to each other, in fact, sometimes the behavior of young people will make the old people dislike. In addition, if the in-laws are really selfish, conflicts are definitely essential, so it is best to keep the safest distance between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
4. Don't break polite greetings, and the younger generation should fulfill their obligations.
What if you run into a selfish father-in-law? Now many people not only do not live with their in-laws, but they are not even in the same city, but even if the in-laws themselves are selfish, the younger generation should be filial to the elderly, and their obligations must not be less, nor can they be because the in-laws do not like and ignore the in-laws, and there should definitely be polite greetings.
Finally make a small summary of married life.
You may meet all kinds of in-laws, so as a daughter-in-law, you should still learn to understand and be tolerant, do not have direct confrontation with them, and try to choose a reasonable and problem-solving solution, which will not only reduce the occurrence of conflicts, but also do not affect the relationship between each other.
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The best way is to discuss with your husband to move out and avoid them. Of course, the old man won't agree, right? If there is a separation, there is no need to do this. It's not particularly old yet, and it's a little early to sell it as old as it gets.
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Old and young! The older you get, the more you look like a child.
There is no other way, communicate well and understand each other.
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Pretend to be confused, let a little, and don't care about trivial money. Bringing him a small gift once in a while is enough. You'll get his accolades, and sometimes even unexpected surprises.
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Of course, we must first take benign communication, the elderly have no virtue and should lead by example, the second is to eliminate the concept of respect and inferiority, express their attitude, and finally establish psychological boundaries, so that the elderly dare not cross the line to manipulate.
Ask questions and don't understand what to do.
1.Communicate first.
2. Make concessions. I can't communicate when I ask questions.
The first 2 were fruitless.
Treat them the way they would be.
As soon as he asked a question and communicated with him, he said that it was someone else's fault.
That can't be helped, it's what he does to you, how you treat him.
The old man knew he was wrong.
The old people can actually be coaxed, they are like children now.
It's not okay to ask questions, my father-in-law's generation didn't serve the old man, then you can talk about specific things and I'll help you come up with ideas.
Question: In May, he scolded me at night, and ran to our room in the middle of the night to scold me, I ignored him, and then my husband pushed him out, to the National Day at noon he scolded Huai for eating dolls, I heard that the doll's mother did not scold him, he raised ** for a long time and kept scolding him, I went out, let her, I went back at 5 o'clock in the afternoon, saw that I kept scolding, and also took out my parents' parents and sister-in-law to scold, I gave the theory, he scolded me for selling batches, I slapped him a few times, and he didn't fight back at that time, He asked some collar to see his daughter-in-law beat the old man, the police came and said that he was not, the second time he hit me, I didn't fight back, I thought it was flat, and after a few days he beat me again, and I didn't fight back.
The next day he hit me.
You have to tell your husband whether you can live this day or not, and let him solve it, it's all to the point of doing it, regardless of whether he is the husband or who.
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I think this, according to my personal feeling, there are some things that can be pretended to be stupid, as long as it is not a matter of principle. In addition, it depends on what kind of selfishness the old man is, whether it is always like this, and in addition to being a little selfish, people are not bad, and whether they are bitter and mean.
If it's just that people are a little greedy and cheap, if you can open one eye, close one eye, tolerate it a little, and don't worry too much about the other party. After all, we are old, and being too cautious will make us stingy.
If the other party is particularly excessive, then my words will not help me or not, and I will not care, or I will say it. Because some people and old people also hate unconsciously, it is too much to sell the old with the old, and it is appropriate to teach the other party a lesson (not to beat people).
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I don't think you can change other people's minds, but you can change your own minds, so you don't think too much, I think the old man's ideas have formed a stereotype, you really can't change the only thing you can do is to change your own mind.
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If the old man in the family is very selfish, he should follow him, don't rush him too much to do things, after all, he is already old thinking and ideas, and there is an unprincipled problem with the young man, so let her a little bit, so that he can live a little happier if he is a little more happy.
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I think it's the best way for such a person to be out of sight and out of mind, and stay away.
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You're more selfish than he is. Some things are just fine. But you really can't be too selfish.
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There are actually a lot of such selfish old men, their machismo is very serious, and they generally have common characteristics: stubborn, irritable and small-answered, unable to tolerate people, he feels that the people around him should do everything for him, and he feels that he has a great credit for paying a little bit for others.
There is no need to worry about such a person, if you worry about him, won't you become a person like him? For such a person, he has hindered the improvement of his self-cultivation and stopped his progress, so he thinks about how worthwhile it is, isn't it?
In everything, you just need to do your best and do your best, and you can be worthy of my heart. Turning a blind eye and hearing nothing, don't worry about it, just just want to honor him to the best of your ability. The retribution of each person's practice is also borne by each person.
He loves to wait at the dinner table, as long as he doesn't mean it. He likes to tell others that it is up to him, if others believe it, then there is no need to worry, this person is just a fool, and someone will judge whether it is black and white. Remember that suffering a loss is a blessing, and suffering a small loss by yourself is actually a great blessing.
Think about it, if we can tolerate even such people, what else can't we accept? On the surface, he seems to have taken advantage, but in fact he is the real sufferer, and he has lost the minimum quality of being a human being for such a little enjoyment, and the king of Hades will judge himself at that time.
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My husband is also like this, I think it is, dogs don't eat, people are used to it, a short separation, will make the old man understand a lot of things, I suggest you can try my method.
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The old man is lazy, and he doesn't care about his children and grandchildren.
Du Tian plays mahjong, and she is so angry that she can't do it, no one dares to say her, and she says it.
is very angry, right to play mahjong 3 times a day, is an old man like this worthy of the respect of his children, is it too selfish to use her salary alone
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