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Some couples are married and do not move out, but still live at home with their parents. But there is no blood relationship between the daughter-in-law and the in-laws, and they are relatively strangers, so they are careful about whatever they do at the in-laws' house. So, what should I do if I am tired and depressed at my in-law's house?
1. Communicate with your mother-in-law more.
I usually have time to chat with my mother-in-law and them, and you can learn a lot of information from the chat, whether it is preferences or personality. If you have been very depressed, you might as well tell your mother-in-law directly, I believe that many in-laws are very open-minded, they can understand the reason why you have this phenomenon, as soon as you say it, you will find that it will not be so depressed in the future, so just say it.
2. Respect. If you have been very depressed at your mother-in-law's house and are afraid that you will do everything wrong, then you must respect your mother-in-law. In any case, mothers-in-law are elders and husbands' mothers, so no matter what point of view, we must respect them.
When doing something that concerns the interests of the family, don't make a decision privately, but find your mother-in-law and discuss it with them, so that things are not so restricted, and they won't blame you even if they don't succeed.
3. Give play to the intermediary role of the husband.
The relationship between the husband and the mother-in-law is very good, so you can directly talk to the husband and ask the husband to mediate between you, then the relationship between you will be much better, and you will not be so depressed.
4. Move out with your husband.
If conditions permit, then you can find another house outside with your husband, and the two of them can move out to run their own small home. But it should be noted that the holidays still have to come back, after all, the husband is still the son of the in-laws, and he still has to be filial to them.
5. Keep a certain distance.
If you live in your in-law's house, you must get to know everyone in your mother-in-law's house so that you can get along well. But also be careful, don't be too close, after all, you are neither related by blood nor friends, if it weren't for your husband, you might not have any relationship at all.
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Falling in love is happy and sweet, because there are only two people, but if you get married, it's not a matter of the two of you, and the people in the other party's family, you can only be truly happy if you integrate into this family.
This principle was also taught to me by my mother, and I remember at first that when I married my husband, my life felt a little depressed, mainly because my mother-in-law was particularly strong.
Because in my mother-in-law's house, the head of the family is my mother-in-law, and my father-in-law and husband listen to my mother-in-law.
Under normal circumstances, it is the mother-in-law who has the final say, no matter what it is, big or small.
So I feel very aggrieved and I can't do anything, so I feel very depressed.
But my mother told me that this is that your life has chosen him, marry him, you should learn to accept his family, accept everything from him, and integrate into this family, since they have lived for so many years, it is impossible for you to change, so you have to learn to accept.
It is impossible to change their lives because of your joining, change their decisions, change their habits, love her should tolerate everything about her, learn to understand her mother, at this time, you feel that you will live a more relaxed life, there is a person who is not in charge, you don't need to think about anything, live a step-by-step life, isn't it more free?
So I listened to my mother, I don't care about anything at home, as long as my mother-in-law says something, it's what? I feel very relaxed and free, I get off work, it was more hard and tired, but my mother-in-law has cooked the meal, that is, there are dishes that I don't like to eat, but I don't need to do it myself.
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If you feel particularly depressed at your in-law's house, you must first find out what is the cause of the depression? Is it because of your mother-in-law's practices and your father-in-law's practices that you disapprove of, or because of other reasons. Find the cause and adjust it, and that's how to fix the problem.
It is also recommended that you find an opportunity to communicate with your husband more, express your thoughts, see if you can get your husband's support, and you can also let your husband communicate with the family to do a good job of bonding. Instead of choosing to escape.
It is recommended that when entering a new family to live, it is inevitable that there will be a lot of stumbles and problems, which is very normal, so the best way is to run in more, communicate more when encountering problems, do not hide them, and learn to communicate with each other tactfully to solve problems, so that the atmosphere of the whole family will be more harmonious.
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Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, which is normal and understandable. Then, the questioner may wish to consider this: first, recall the time when he lived in his in-law's house, think about the inside and out, big and small, find the reasons for the depression, and then do different measures according to different reasons.
If the reason is in the in-laws' house, then think about why this is happening.
First of all, communicate with your husband to see if you can avoid this situation, after all, your husband is a bridge between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and you should find a way to persuade your husband to help you coordinate your relationship with his family; Or, be a stupid child, be honest and dedicated, let his family see your advantages, see that you are sincerely for the good of this family, and move them little by little, after all, no one is a stone-hearted; Take 10,000 steps back, if you feel that your husband is unreliable, and you can't get the understanding of his family after working hard, then you might as well leave.
If the reason lies with yourself, then think about your own strengths and weaknesses, principles and pursuits in this marriage.
After all, marriage is the sublimation of love, and since they are married, the two of them must go in a good direction, and they must be mentally prepared to dedicate themselves to each other. It is normal for every mother to be more or less suspicious of her daughter-in-law, just like the mixed feelings in the heart of her daughter's father. Therefore, once you find that the fault is in yourself, then choose to have the courage to take responsibility and find a way to win the favor of his family, which may be what a woman with high emotional intelligence will do.
Once you win the favor of his family, maybe in the future, at home, his parents will look at you more seriously than their own son, why not?
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It is recommended that you first of all be self-reliant and financially independent, so that you have the confidence to speak on your own, and then you buy a house outside and move out to live by yourself, which will be less troublesome.
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I feel very depressed at my mother-in-law's house, if it were me, I might find someone to talk to, after all, it was uncomfortable to press on my heart, and if I just didn't feel good, I might rarely go.
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If you feel particularly depressed in your mother-in-law's house, it means that you have not yet integrated yourself into this family, so you should rest assured and relax. Don't let yourself be tricky.
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The easiest way is to separate from your mother-in-law. Of course, the consequence to be borne is to be misunderstood, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Disagreement. If it can't be done, there is another curve to save the country.
of the road. You will suffer some grievances in the early stage, but of course, the cultivation of this path is very important for each of us, and it can improve your ability in all aspects of interpersonal communication.
The first thing you have to admit and face calmly is:
1. You have a lot of dissatisfaction with your mother-in-law. Selfish, hypocritical, strong, and unreasonable.
2. Your heart has a lot of expectations for your mother-in-law at the beginning. can't meet your expectations, and you can feel from your expression that you are disappointed, even if it is difficult, you don't want her to help. But this presentation is also resentful.
3. You yourself are actually very cowardly and incompetent. Even if you are stepped on by someone, you are the one who cannot break out. This is also the reason why mother-in-law and aunts don't take you seriously anymore.
You should look at the above three points objectively and neutrally. Yes, it can be changed, and in advance you have to recognize that the problem is there. Speaking of you, you need to cultivate your own path.
First of all, we must also adjust our mentality, and we must be more objective and neutral about my mother-in-law's behavior, and always be aware of whether I am bringing emotions up. If I were you, when my mother-in-law complained to me about the child's problems (to be objective and neutral), when she told the truth, no matter how ugly she said, you not only had to accept it, but also have to agree and ask for a way. You have to let your mother-in-law receive that you are empathetic to her, and she is also helpless about this problem.
At the same time, they are on the same front, and they must be solved by all means. (Sometimes you also have to think about the various positions of your mother-in-law now, what is the reason and what kind of values she will do).
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It's very depressing to get along with my mother-in-law, and the best thing to do is not to care about him and ignore him. It's good to be the best version of yourself, to be the happiest version of yourself, and to do what interests you the most.
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When we enter the society and start a family, we may encounter all kinds of troubles, we will have all kinds of trivial things in life, we will feel particularly irritable, and we may also be depressed, such as the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
If you are depressed with your mother-in-law, you can do this:
One is to communicate and communicate with your mother-in-law, which is a particularly effective way to ease the relationship between two people.
The second is to do what you want to do, if you keep worrying about this kind of international relations, you may become more irritable, and if you can do what you want to do, you will be able to divert your attention.
The third is to try to make yourself more tolerant and generous, because sometimes in the process of getting along, we need to be tolerant of each other, so that we can not be so depressed.
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It is said that mother-in-law is not mother-in-law. There are few who can treat their mother-in-law as a mother. So it's normal for you to be very depressed with your mother-in-law.
I think it's better for you to talk to your partner and move out alone so that you have less time to contact your mother-in-law, and naturally you won't feel depressed.
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You can discuss it and live separately.
If you have the conditions, you will move out, and if you don't have the conditions, you will hold back, this condition includes, buying a house alone, whether the family needs to rely on the elderly to help part of the economic conditions, your husband's recognition, if there are children involved, can you take care of the children yourself, etc., if you lack economic ability and material conditions, then you can only be better to yourself and do a good job of communicating with yourself.
When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrel, if the conflict is caused by the mother-in-law first. Then as a son, you should coax your daughter-in-law well, so that your daughter-in-law should not get angry with her mother in line with the principle of filial piety, after all, the elders are the greatest. If the matter is caused by the daughter-in-law, the son should communicate with his wife well, calmly explain the ins and outs of the matter, and then apologize to the mother.
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It's very depressing to get along with my mother-in-law, what should I do? Adjust your mindset. Whether he is right or wrong, forgive him. Because she is an old man. Treat her like your own mother. This way you will be less stressed.
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I feel very depressed to get along with my mother-in-law, it is best to live separately, or to be together for a long time, it is easy to get sick after long-term depression, a person and a person must be popular, if you don't like this person, it is difficult to change your outlook, if you don't like your mother-in-law, no matter how good she is to you, no matter how hard you try, you will not get along comfortably.
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If you feel very depressed and unaccustomed to getting along with your mother-in-law, then you will live separately, and if you don't have the conditions to live separately, then change your mentality, don't worry too much, otherwise you will be depressed for a long time and it will not be good for your health.
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First of all, we must find fault with ourselves, what is causing the estrangement, and then find ways to improve it. Secondly, buy more things for your mother-in-law, and have more contact, which will enhance the relationship over time.
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Although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to get along with, mother-in-law cannot treat her daughter-in-law as a daughter, and it is difficult for daughter-in-law to treat her mother-in-law as her own mother.
Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been difficult to get along with, so expectations should not be too high. Because a mother-in-law is not a mother, and a daughter-in-law is not a daughter. Therefore, the daughter-in-law cannot expect her mother-in-law as her own mother, and the mother-in-law cannot expect her daughter-in-law as a daughter.
When many girls first marry into their mother-in-law's family, they want to be a good daughter-in-law, and many mothers-in-law also want to be a good mother-in-law before their son gets married. But after the young couple got married, when the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law got along day and night, they found that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was really not easy to get along.
As a mother-in-law, I hope that my daughter-in-law will treat you in the future, so you will do to your daughter-in-law today! Every mother-in-law comes from her daughter-in-law and understands the psychology of her daughter-in-law, but her daughter-in-law has never been a mother-in-law and cannot understand the psychology of her mother-in-law. Therefore, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along with each other, mother-in-law should be more tolerant, and daughter-in-law should be more considerate of mother-in-law, only when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along in harmony, the man they love together can be happy and the family can be harmonious.
But in any case, when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, they must draw a clear line and grasp the degree. What should the mother-in-law do, what should the mother-in-law manage, think about it and then do it, think about it and then take care of it, if it is not within the jurisdiction of the mother-in-law, don't mix it; Sometimes you think that what you are doing is a good thing, but as a daughter-in-law, you may not necessarily approve of it, and your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must get along with each other in a good way.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along, will not be like getting along with parents, getting along with parents can be unilateral pay, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can't, their relationship needs to pay for each other, you are good to me, I am good to you, this kind of "as your own" care needs to be heart-to-heart, mother-in-law to daughter-in-law pay more, daughter-in-law will naturally not be bad to mother-in-law, harmonious mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, inseparable from mother-in-law and daughter-in-law both sides of each other, mutual tolerance.
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