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Whenever I talk about my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
There are many people who feel the same way. The problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a difficult problem in China since ancient times, and almost no one can give a one-size-fits-all solution, so why should mother-in-law bully daughter-in-law?
1. The reason why the mother-in-law bullied her daughter-in-law.
If the daughter-in-law does not have a job, there is no family income, and without family income, the family position is not consolidated. Therefore, a daughter-in-law with no family income is easily looked down upon by her mother-in-law, thinking that her son supports her daughter-in-law every day, but the daughter-in-law does not have any job and does not bear any responsibility for the family, so the mother-in-law will naturally bully the daughter-in-law. The deepest contradiction between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law is that a mother-in-law loves her son very much, while a daughter-in-law loves her husband very much.
For that son, it is difficult to share the same love with his mother and his wife, which creates a source of conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
2. How should we treat the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? Everyone is not an isolated island, and people are connected. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law stems from the close contact between herself and her mother-in-law in daily life, which leads to the conflict between herself and her mother-in-law.
Since ancient times, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have been very common, and we should treat them with a normal heart. The most direct, simple and crude way is to separate from your mother-in-law, the closer the connection, the deeper the conflict. If you are separated from your mother-in-law, your usual communication with your mother-in-law will be reduced, and the possibility of your mother-in-law bullying you will also be reduced.
3. How to solve the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? The most important thing is to cultivate your own ability, when you have the ability, there are very few people who can bully you. If your own family income is a large part of the family's income, then the mother-in-law will also consider the family when she bullies her daughter-in-law.
The second is the correct communication with the mother-in-law, if it is just a simple contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law is still good, then there is still the possibility of correction between the two. When I and my mother-in-law respect each other, I believe that my mother-in-law also has some sense, and then the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can naturally be alleviated, and my mother-in-law will not deliberately bully my daughter-in-law. Specific problems, specific analysis.
However, if the mother-in-law has made a serious problem, she can also take legal measures to protect her rights and interests.
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There are all these reasons, the first reason is that you are not biological, the second reason is that she has been bullied by her mother-in-law, so she has to bully you to make up for the regrets in her heart, the third reason is that she is not used to you, your son is working hard to earn money outside, and you are enjoying it, and the fourth reason is that you are not as intimate as her daughter, so I want to bully you and so on.
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After getting married, the reason why your mother-in-law bullied you: The mother-in-law's own personality is too strong, she likes to discipline others, and she is too lenient.
The daughter-in-law's own reasons are cowardly personality, she has no own opinions on everything, and her own ability is not enough.
Another part is the reason for the husband, when the mother-in-law bullied herself, she turned a deaf ear and turned a blind eye, and the mother-in-law thought that the daughter-in-law had no place in the son's heart, so she liked to control and point fingers.
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The reason why your mother-in-law bullies you after you get married is roughly that the first is that your daughter-in-law is not sensible, the second is that your daughter-in-law is lazy, and the third is that your daughter-in-law is too strong, always bullying her husband and not saving face for her husband, which is the basic factor that her mother-in-law is not used to.
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It may be because your mother-in-law doesn't like you and has never accepted you as a daughter-in-law from her heart, or it may be because you haven't done some things well enough, or it may be that your character is too submissive, and you are bullied and dare not resist. That's why your mother-in-law will bully you.
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Seeing that you are not pleasing to the eye, you often spend money lavishly, do not do housework, like to sow discord, and like to say bad things behind your back.
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The main reason is your character, because you don't know how to resist the other party, so the other party has a chance, so they come to bully you, if you become tough, powerful, the other party can't come and bully you.
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It may be that she is not used to some of your actions and practices, and she cannot accept your way of life, and she may feel that you have snatched her dearest son away, or that she wants you to do things according to her ideas. Or your mother-in-law, who is a very strong person in her own right. That's why I bullied you.
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In the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I will always hear some mothers-in-law say: how pungent their daughter-in-law is and how aggrieved they are. As they get older, coupled with their amazing acting skills, they often make us think that the mother-in-law has been wronged and how isolated she is.
However, many times, the truth of the truth is: the mother-in-law is not wronged, her old man is just "pretending to be a pig and eating a tiger".
In the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law is often not the weak side, but the daughter-in-law is the isolated side.
We often hear the saying, "When you get married, we're a family." Do you really think of yourself as a family? Not really! That's just a layer of sugar coating. Wrapped in sugar coating, there is a bitter daily life "under the fence".
We often hear this repentant saying: She is just an old man, you don't have to worry so much about her.
We will even hear others say that the old man is very pitiful, and the daughter-in-law has to be unforgiving and cooperates with others to bully her.
Am I talking about all the old people? Of course not. I'm just saying that there is such a part of the drama in daily life, and when I have a conflict with my daughter-in-law, I show how weak and compromised I am.
Perhaps, the loneliest thing is to get married and meet a foolish, violent, mother-in-law's husband and an arrogant and domineering in-law who does not distinguish between right and wrong. You thought that you could rely on the love of your life, and when you bully you with others, you are the saddest. I hug this friend here, I feel very sorry for you, but what I want to say is that the most unbearable thing in marriage is domestic violence, take care of yourself.
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Mother-in-law wants you to take good care of her son, Hu Dongzai is like a mother taking care of her children, taking care of her meticulously, and if you can't do it well, of course she will have opinions about you. If her son is good to you, she can't get used to you, after all, the son she worked so hard to raise, she herself didn't enjoy the benefits, you enjoy it first, of course she will bully you.
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Today's mothers-in-law generally don't bully their daughters-in-law, they will care about their good daughters-in-law very much.
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One of the most powerful things I've ever seen is that I don't let my daughter-in-law into the house, it was a rainy day, and then her husband had nothing to say, and finally my daughter-in-law went to sleep with her best friend for one night.
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I think if a mother-in-law really bullies her daughter-in-law sincerely, they can make her daughter-in-law unable to stay in this house at all, because they are the mistress of this house.
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I think that if the mother-in-law is very powerful, she will bully her daughter-in-law very ruthlessly, and as a man, you should protect your girlfriend.
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I don't think the average mother-in-law will always bully her daughter-in-law, because this is the basic principle of getting along with people, and not everyone is so bad.
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There is no need for ordinary mothers-in-law to bully daughters-in-law, yes, it's just that individual mothers-in-law will, which is excessive, but I think as long as they get along harmoniously, there should be no bullying of daughters-in-law.
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I don't go to serve the food myself, and every time I finish cooking, I ask my daughter-in-law to bring the rice to my mouth, and then I don't let my daughter-in-law eat on the table. For details, please refer to Lin Pinru.
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It's my principle.
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can bully you to death, and when you die, she still feels that she hasn't bullied enough, it's not cost-effective, and her heart is extremely vicious.
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Although society has been moving forward and thinking has been changing, from ancient times to the present, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
It's always been a headache. It's not just a matter of two people, but also someone you like caught in the middle. This problem has existed since ancient times, and it still exists, which is also a very real social problem.
For a mother, it is not easy to raise a son, she raised her own food with a mouthful of food, and now she has to protect other women, I think any mother may not be able to accept it. On the contrary, for the daughter-in-law, she has given her life to the other party and deserves to be favored. As a result, there was a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The mother-in-law relationship is a sensitive issue for everyone who wants to get marriedEvery woman wants her mother-in-law to be friendly, and she doesn't need her mother-in-law to be respectful, as long as she doesn't deliberately make things difficult, everything else is understandable. But the Chinese concept is that the parent-child relationship is the most important, even if it is a married daughter-in-law, it is only a supporting role, so after the son gets married, the mother will put herself first, thinking that the daughter-in-law should give herself a place. After many people get married, they will be bullied and harassed by their mother-in-law, and they can't tell each other yet, because this is the reason for the three of them.
However, if there is a problem, it must be solved in time. In the face of mother-in-law's difficulties and bullying, we should first control our emotions and calm down and think about it. Since she is married, her mother-in-law is her mother, and she must be respectful and filial to her mother.
If two people have different opinions, they will learn to give in time. Treat your mother-in-law with sincerity and sincerity, people's hearts are long, and after a long time, the contradictions will be reduced.
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Mother-in-law has been bullying you at home, what is the reason for you to analyze it carefully? First, do you have a job, do you want your husband to support the family? Second, you spend a lot of time doing housework or playing at home, and third, whether there are any conflicts between your husband and wife.
Why doesn't he help you? This means that you first have to find out the reason why you are really doing well in this family. Because not blaming and not arguing about right and wrong is an important factor in family happiness.
Home is a place where love is not reasonable, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, more important than right and wrong is understanding and tolerance. Tolerate each other, magnify love, and minimize unpleasantness, and the home will be warm and happy.
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As a junior, first of all, peace is precious, no matter how much conflict occurs between you, let her first, I believe that unreasonable people are still a minority, and then there is no husband of your own, you can confide in your husband about being bullied, I believe that this family will not bully you, do things comprehensively, don't be unhappy for a moment and make the family unhappy. I believe that my mother-in-law will not have to make an inch, so the young man will be generous, let one step be calm, and take a step back to open the sky.
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In fact, you need the participation of your lover, and his attitude determines the way your mother-in-law gets along with you. If you and your lover love each other very much, love the house and the house, your lover will stand up when they see you being bullied. If your lover is a mom boy, or a straight man, then you should be strong, the reason doesn't make sense, and use practical actions and strength to prove that you are not good to be bullied.
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Tell your husband, and then don't tolerate her bullying you, if your husband doesn't help you, the worst outcome is divorce. You can talk to your mother-in-law and ask her why she doesn't like you or something.
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Leave! Go to live your little life, less contact, that's it, the only way is to avoid, this is unreasonable, the heart is bigger, otherwise your life will be very bad.
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Tell your husband, let him take a stand to solve the problem, and then be financially independent, you don't have to spend her son's money, she will definitely not be able to take what you do.
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How to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a problem for the ages, and if you don't get along well with your mother-in-law, I think you should reduce contact. Then there will be a little less contradiction.
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World-class challenges. First of all, you can respect him as an old man, and then you can take a stand. Look at the way you express yourself.
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I moved out with my husband and occasionally went home to have a meal together.
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You have to figure out what the reason is, and more importantly, what is your husband's attitude.
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The reason is to say how her children feel when someone else does this.
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In my opinion, if my mother-in-law often bullies me, I can't go against it, and I have to fight back.
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I think since this situation has arisen, it is best to make it clear to your husband.
I don't want to, fortunately I don't live together, and I come at two ends in three days, either to send this or to take that, and to come and talk endlessly.
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In view of the fact that my husband is an only child, I should also live together when I need to support the elderly in the future. When it comes to living with my mother-in-law, my principle is that I don't like it, I don't object to it, and I try my best to be friendly. For the way to get along with my mother-in-law, my principle is not to ask for things that do not belong to me, to know how to be content, to be grateful, and to tolerate each other.
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