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Because there is a large age gap between his wife and his parents, if he lives together, he is prone to many conflicts, which is not conducive to the development of his marital feelings.
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Why doesn't my wife want to live with my parents? Gender Affection is the source of contemporary young people's fear of marriage
The clients I usually come into contact with also have questions about the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and some wives are reluctant to live with the man's parents, and a large part of the reason is because of this.
Most of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts have types, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a more complex relationship, it not only represents two women, if the conflict intensifies seriously, it will affect the entire marriage and even the family.
I remember a visitor once told me that she wanted to divorce her husband, but she couldn't say why, only to find out after counseling that it was because of the deterioration of the relationship with her mother-in-law, when there are conflicts in the family, it is still necessary to solve them as soon as possible, otherwise many family problems are often piled up with these series of small problems, like a snowball, rolling bigger and bigger, and finally serious can collapse the whole family.
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Because after all, they are not their own parents, there is still a certain estrangement, and it is very inconvenient for a daughter-in-law to live with her parents.
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Because some parents have more things to do. Always want to take charge of the child's life. Moreover, there is also a generation gap between daughter-in-law and parents, and their living habits are different. In particular, some men's parents are not used to seeing their daughter-in-law commanding their husbands.
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Because after all, it is not her parents, first of all, it will be very embarrassing to be together, and secondly, it is easy to cause conflicts, and it is not easy to coordinate, holding back and feeling uncomfortable, and saying it out to let her husband be caught in the middle, it is better not to live together from the beginning.
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Because the daughter-in-law is also an independent and complete individual, she can support her parents but she will also want a home that really belongs to her own life, her parents are her parents, and she is herself, which cannot be confused.
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As the saying goes, "the fragrance of the distance, the smell of the near", the daughter-in-law who lives together and the parents are prone to friction, which is not conducive to family harmony, and living with the parents, the daughter-in-law is easy to let go, a little embarrassing.
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I think after getting married, I still listen to your daughter-in-law, don't live with your parents, you can live very close.
1. You are married, and your parents are not very old. You may have been your parents' baby, and your wife has just married into your family, so you have to adapt in every way. Adapt to your married life, adapt to your family's living habits, and the way your parents-in-law do things.
Originally, the matter of two people is now much more complicated to live together. If one is not handled well, the relationship between husband and wife, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and contradictions will come out. And if there is a contradiction, it is even worse to separate.
Second, the living habits are different, it is best not to live together. For example, before I got married, my family ate chicken stewed with mushrooms and potatoes. Stewed wide noodles, I think it's delicious!
But when I arrived at my mother-in-law's house, their family was used to stewing sauerkraut with chicken, and my husband thought it was delicious! And I don't think it's tasty. After a few years, I thought that the chicken stewed sauerkraut was also delicious.
Therefore, it is necessary to adapt to the life of the couple slowly. Lifestyle habits are indeed an issue.
3. It's not very convenient for young and old to live together! On a hot day, if the young couple is at home, the wife can wear a suspender. And at home with your parents-in-law, you have to dress tightly!
The little couple didn't dare to quarrel loudly, the home was originally a place to relax, but you couldn't relax, isn't it also troublesome.
As a husband, you must think about your wife after getting married, otherwise one person will be uncomfortable, and the other person will not be better. Therefore, my suggestion is that if your parents are in good health, they can live separately and try to live separately as much as possible.
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Your daughter-in-law is a smart person, you are not around, if you live with your parents, there will be a lot of inconvenience, and it is easy to have contradictions, you think it is good to live with your parents, it is because you do not consider the problem from the position of others, the idea is too simple, so if you can't go back from work, then bring your daughter-in-law to live together, otherwise there will be problems in the long run, this is what you should consider, this is the point.
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If your daughter-in-law doesn't want to live with your parents, then you have to do work with your daughter-in-law, if there are conditions in the family, you can be separated, if there are no conditions in the family to live with your parents, then you have to do the work of a daughter-in-law.
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Daughters-in-law generally don't want to live with each other's parents, and it will be awkward for them to be together when you are not at home, so you can agree to let your daughter-in-law visit your parents regularly, and their lives are also very good.
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You and your daughter-in-law are not in the same place, since you have no way to leave your current job, then your daughter-in-law may work with you after marriage, and he does not want to live with your parents at this time, so you can choose to live alone, which may also be more convenient.
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In the end, I still listen to the daughter-in-law's opinion, because the daughter-in-law has been with her mother-in-law for a long time, and it is easy to have contradictions because the two have different ideas and concepts, and there is no common discourse.
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At this time, you should make a choice, or live in the same city with your daughter-in-law. Or force him to make a choice. Either I live with you, or I choose to divorce, after all, no one wants to compromise.
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This is a normal thing, because two people can live freely together, eat and drink according to their own methods, and eat with their parents, eat nothing, go together, and it is not convenient to take a bath and go to the toilet, if you have the ability, you can rent a house for your parents to live near your home, so it is convenient to take care of it. In fact, your parents don't necessarily want to live with you. Now they do not want unnecessary contradictions.
Let's discuss with each other what to do.
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Young and old people have different living habits, and living together is prone to friction, and you can let your wife come to the city where you work and live with you, which is good for both parties.
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If the daughter-in-law doesn't want to live together, then it's best for the two of you to move out, otherwise it won't be good for your family in the long run.
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Then I don't live together, I feel that as long as you work hard and try to buy a house of your own, it's okay, because if you don't want to live and live together, there will be a lot of conflicts.
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I think this is normal, who doesn't like to live with their parents? will have their own private space, I think this is normal, since your parents are also independent, that is, the ability to live, then it is normal to not live together.
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First of all, I personally think that a person's growth is the most important, followed by love, family and friendship to put themselves in the first place!
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According to your description, it is recommended that you buy another wedding house, and if the financial conditions do not allow it, then it is recommended that you rent a house first.
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It's understandable that daughters-in-law don't want to live with their parents, because there are no people who want to live with the elderly, so I think daughters-in-law should be respected.
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The husband belongs to the type of helper who does not help his relatives
On the day of the wedding, my husband's mother thought that I had been putting on makeup for too long and the guests couldn't wait, so she urged me more than ten times, and her tone was very anxious and her attitude was not good. Said that the makeup artist was slow, ran over and pulled half of my braided hair and said, so be it, don't get the other half.
At that time, I was actually very angry in my heart, because my mother-in-law kept asking me to take pictures with her friends at that time, and the makeup artist had urged me many times that there was not enough time to put on makeup, and she didn't listen and didn't let me do makeup. Now I'm starting to get anxious, so let's just say me and the makeup artist. But I couldn't quarrel with her on that occasion...It's called a grievance in my heart.
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Don't live together if you don't agree, in order for the marriage to last long, your parents can rent a house for them if you want to live in the city, and be filial to your parents, but living with your parents, there are too many contradictions, and if you want to make the marriage last long, you still live separately from your parents. Communicate with your wife first, if there is really a problem that cannot be solved, it is not suitable to live together, you can rent a house for your parents or buy another house, the living habits of young people and the elderly are too different, and they can barely live together, there will be a lot of friction, and it is easy to hurt feelings, it is best not to live together on the basis of taking care of the elderly. Rent a house nearby, or buy a house, take care of each other, and not be alienated, and the family is still harmonious, after all, the living habits in the countryside are different from those in the city.
If the daughter-in-law grew up in the city, I am afraid that it will be due to different living habits and different consumption concerns and conflicts with the elderly, and finally the family affection will be wiped out, and it is easy to produce a family crisis. Besides, there is a saying that distance produces beauty.
Far away relatives, if the old man can't move, when you need to support the elderly, it's not too late to live together, nowadays, 99% of daughters-in-law are unwilling to live with their in-laws, because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
It's hard to get along, as a son, you have to understand your daughter-in-law, don't embarrass your daughter-in-law, otherwise you can only divorce!
If you have the conditions, you can buy a house nearby or rent a house for your parents to live in and take care of; If you don't have the conditions, you can often go back to your hometown to see your parents, and you must not let your daughter-in-law live with your parents for a long time, otherwise it will hurt your parents and daughter-in-law! The habits of life must be very different, and in the end there will be many contradictions, and if you don't handle it well, they will end up resenting you, and your parents think you are a white-eyed wolf.
Your daughter-in-law thinks that you are a mother's treasure man, without conscience, and in the end you are not a person inside and out, and it is wrong to everyone, so it is best to live your own life, and you can go back and bring something to see your parents during the New Year's holiday! The so-called far fragrance and near smell are also the same reason.
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You should discuss with your wife and try to persuade her to let her parents come and live with you, because living with your parents is very happy.
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Be sure to strengthen communication, respect your wife's intentions, and don't be too reluctant, otherwise there will be a lot of family conflicts.
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You should communicate something with your parents, because after all, there is a certain gap between the minds of young and old, and living together may erupt a lot of conflicts.
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I should take the initiative to talk to my wife, and I should also tell my wife that her parents are old, and now she needs to take care of herself, and she should be a filial person.
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Then don't live with your daughter-in-law, because if you live in, the relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be very poor.
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Since the daughter-in-law is unwilling, she should move out to live, because it is easy for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to have conflicts with each other.
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Then don't make it difficult, after all, it is very inconvenient for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to live together, and the lifestyles are different, and there may be conflicts.
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Try not to live together, if you don't live together, the relationship with each other is still better, and if you live together, there may be conflicts.
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If the daughter-in-law is unwilling to give birth, don't be more pressurized, after all, giving birth to a child is a matter between their husband and wife, as a mother-in-law, don't impose your will on your daughter-in-law.
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If the daughter-in-law is unwilling, as a mother, she should not be forced to stay, otherwise the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will be difficult to get along well.
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The reason why today's daughters-in-law are unwilling to live with their parents will cause many conflicts. So that in the process of life, you can have a relatively uncomfortable experience.
Judging from the current situation, many people will find a relatively common problem. Nowadays, many daughters-in-law usually want to live alone with their partners after they get married. And want to live separately from your partner's parents in this way. <>
There will be many failures and contradictions.
But the reason for this phenomenon is mainly because these daughters-in-law will feel that they are living with their parents in their class. Or because of the gap between the two generations, or because of some personality problems, there are more contradictions. And when there is a conflict, it will make the feelings between each other vulnerable to hurt.
Even when the situation is more serious, the daughter-in-law and the partner's parents will directly quarrel and fight in the process of living together. <>
Living separately is also a good option.
And I personally think that in this case, it is also the right choice for the daughter-in-law to be reluctant to live with her parents. Because in the process of living separately from your parents, there will be a certain distance between you and your parents. And because of this distance, there will be no contradictions between yourself and your parents.
The most important thing is not to bring some bad experience to yourself because of your parents' living habits. <>
My personal opinion.
After all, for all daughters-in-law, they will feel particularly uncomfortable living with their mother-in-law and father-in-law. And some of my own living habits may be a disadvantage for my parents-in-law. And after a long time, it will directly make the parents-in-law have opinions on the daughter-in-law.
As a result, in the process of living together, you will have a particularly uncomfortable experience. Therefore, choosing to live separately is a more correct choice.
Because most of them now have a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, they are reluctant to go back to their in-laws' house for the New Year.
This discrimination against single-parent children mainly comes from able-bodied families, who generally believe that children growing up in divorced families will not be psychologically sound and do not know how to give others a complete home. They believe that the divorce of parents will have a negative impact on children: first, it is a direct negative impact, and the divorce of parents gives children the most intuitive impression that they can be divorced after marriage. >>>More
In fact, this may be due to your personality, sometimes you can empathize, and at the same time find a greeting with others, others will have a good mood, and yourself, the mood will be much better. You can try, but don't close yourself off like that.
Every time I talk to my elders, I feel that their thinking is very backward, and they don't understand what I say to them, so after a long time, I will feel that chatting with my elders is very boring, and I won't talk to them like this. <>
If the relationship between the parent and the daughter is good and trusting, there will be no problem for the daughter to worry about her parents "complaining" to the homeroom teacher. What parents need to communicate with their daughters is not whether they should contact the class teacher, but how to improve the personal relationship. >>>More