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The most important thing for people to get along with each other is to have a common topic that belongs to each other, so that they can enjoy the beautiful scenery and talk about the autumn moon together, so if your parents have a big gap in their three views and a very big difference in status, the best way to get along with them better is to help them find a common topic. <>
Everyone who decides to enter the palace of marriage should hope that their marriage will have a wife who is on the same page or a considerate husband. At the beginning of the married life, most of them are sweet and happy, but some things will happen that are not very satisfactory in the trivialities of life, and if there is a very big gap between the three views and status of two people, there will be more and more contradictions.
If the two parties in the marriage encounter conflicts, they should not only do it like their own marriage vows, tolerate and love each other, but more importantly, change more, for themselves and each other, to become a better person. In order to let the life of two people not only live because of firewood, rice, oil and salt, but also talk, learn more about each other's hobbies and habits. Women are proud of those who please themselves, not only to ask their wives to dress up for their husbands to love them more, but also to make their own quality of life higher.
If there is a big gap between the three views, you can also change yourself appropriately, read some books that the other party is interested in, go to some places that the other party likes, and slowly integrate into the other party's spiritual world. Even if some couples have similar views and similar social status when they first enter marriage, there will still be certain differences. <>
In our opinion, there are disparities, but when your parents can come together with so many differences, what a fate, how rare, after changing for each other, the relationship between the two parties may go to the next level.
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I think if it was the three views of the parents before the 70s, it was normal for the status gap to be large, because at that time, the marriage of the parents was basically a family formed by blind dates or marriages arranged by the parents, and both of them did not know each other before they got married, and even some of them only knew what each other looked like when they got married. Before the 70s, they basically had not begun to live a life of food and clothing, let alone too much investment in ideological education, unless some were once landlord families, some were scholarly families, or the families of official eunuchs, and the ideological education they received, or the three views might be more avant-garde and more advanced, otherwise the people of the other peasant classes basically had no education, and at that time family planning had not been implemented, and the phenomenon of preference for sons over daughters was particularly serious. Girls generally have no status in the family, and the children in the family are basically boys, so the status of women is generally low, and when they get married, they are prone to a large gap in the three views and a huge disparity in status.
If you want your parents to be able to live in peace, I think the first thing is to learn to tolerate, whether it is in life or in the view of the problem, when the two sides have differences, they should communicate with each other, they can express their own opinions, but they must not impose their own ideas on others, if the discussion is really not fruitful, then both sides will take a step back, and peace is precious, do not quarrel, cause unnecessary trouble, when there is a dispute, both sides must be separated and calm down for a period of time, Wait until you have calmed down before negotiating.
Secondly, if there is discord in life because of the inconsistency of the three views, I think you can empathize with each other, you can experience each other's situation, and think more about each other, so that everyone understands each other, after all, you have to live together for a lifetime, I believe that there are still feelings between you, and as a child, you should do a good job of both parents, and when you encounter something difficult to choose, you can have a family meeting, and everyone discusses and solves it together. When you are fine, you can go out to travel and have dinner with a family to cultivate and cultivate feelings, and children should communicate more with their parents to understand their feelings, so that you can also come out to adjust when they have differences of opinion.
In short, no matter what, you have to remember that the only people in this world who can pay for you without reservation without asking for anything in return are your parents, whether you are outside the scenery or down, they are your warmest harbor, whether rich or not, they will never dislike you, so if the parents have three views and a big gap in status, as a child, it is not easy for every parent to raise their children.
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As their child, when the two of them have conflicts and problems, when the three views have conflicts, you have to help the two of them solve the conflicts and problems, and use your strength to let them learn to understand each other.
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First of all, they must love each other, and they also know how to tolerate each other, so that even if they don't agree with each other, they can get along well.
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We should try to get parents to think about the problem from a completely different point of view, and re-establish the same three views.
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Since they have you, it means that the ups and downs have come over for so many years, and there is no need to worry too much, these problems are not a problem.
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It is normal to be different from the three views of our parents, there is a generation gap between us, but some generations are deep and some are shallow. When I was young, I would do it, and when I had a family, I would understand the good intentions of my parents, soSlowly, I can communicate with my parents, even if I can't understand it, but I can accept it.
Many young people always complain that their parents don't understand anything by nagging, and they always like to care about them, in fact, the main thing is that the society is developing too fast, and parents want to have a stable and harmonious family, and they will get angry when they see their children tossing them every day, and there may be family wars if they are hot-tempered.
Different generations of people will have different thoughts, and their ability to accept new things will also be differentWe can't force our parents to change, we can't understand what our parents think, just as they can't understand what we think. The parents' generation is more conservative in thinking, and we, as children, can't be too concerned with our parents, and we can't dislike our parents' conformism because we don't have the same thoughts, and we will think that we are knowledgeable and have to quarrel with our parents over a little thing. Doing so not only hurts the parents, but also separates them.
I remember a long time ago, I also complained about my parents, I thought that when they reached retirement age, they could enjoy the blessings at home, go out for a walk or drink tea at home every day, isn't this kind of life bad? But the two of them couldn't be idle, they had to go to the countryside to rent land and farm, they got up before dawn every day, and they were busy every day. Later, we compromised because we were happy to see our parents getting healthier and healthier because of their work, and when the crops were harvested, we were happy to see their faces with happy smiles.
Maybe all this is a little out of place in the eyes of others, and even feels undignified, but parents don't care, just do what they think is right, although it seems very hard, but the mood is really happy. No two people's three views are truly the same, and the same is true between family members, there will always be various differences, so what is more important than the three views is that there is no dispute over family harmony.
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Most of the time I choose to tolerate them, because they have some ideas that are difficult to change, and instead of arguing with them, it is better to choose to tolerate them and point out mistakes in time.
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When I find out that my parents and I have different views, I don't continue to argue with them and give each other time to calm down. Because no matter how much my parents don't understand me, they are still the ones who love me the most, and I don't want my thoughts to affect their mood.
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I would choose to keep my mouth shut. Because it's useless to quarrel with your parents, it's better to shut up and not speak, and you can still have peace.
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I will superficially obey their ideas, but the actual action is up to me, which is to be subject to the orders of the king. It's impossible to get a result if you argue with them, so this is the best way to do it.
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Faced with such a situation, I will first choose to be calm. All things are the most correct choice only when you think calmly. At this time, we need to understand our parents' point of view, but we don't fully agree with them.
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I try to avoid arguing with my parents, and then use my actions to convince them to try to put themselves in my shoes.
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This problem is a common phenomenon, basically all children's three views are too different from their parents', but I don't think it's difficult to solve!
In the case of ensuring that your three views are not crooked, if you want your parents to understand your mind, you must work hard in ordinary times, and it is indeed difficult for the older generation to accept some new things, but they will still accept it under the correct guidance. So we have to tell them slowly, you can't be in a hurry, and you can't be impatient, because it will break your parents' hearts and make them very disappointed in you.
A while ago, my husband and I were playing national karaoke, which is our common hobby, although the singing is very ordinary, but as long as we sing, we are very happy. But my mother-in-law was very unhappy, saying that we didn't sing well, and it was a shame to send it out. We told her that this is just a hobby, it doesn't matter if it's a shame or not, since it's a national K song, it means that you can sing it no matter whether it's good or bad, so everyone has a lot of fun.
And singing can reduce stress and increase happiness!
Sure enough, she sang it at home while we were at work, and she posted it. So my husband and I both praised her and gave her flowers. Not only that, but I also mobilized her relatives in her circle of friends to give her praise and flowers.
Mother-in-law is beautiful, don't want it. In this way, my mother-in-law became obsessed with the national K song out of control, and now as long as she is free, she will take the headphones and play in the small bedroom.
Hey, parents are actually like this, sometimes they are like a child, so use some patience with their children on their parents, and you will find that his three views will slowly lean towards you and mingle with you!
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As we grow older, the differences between our concepts and our parents become bigger and bigger, and there is a big difference between our three views and our parents' three views. Since our rebellious period, we have quarreled with our parents again and again, and sometimes I feel very tired to talk to them, but our parents are the most important people to us, and we can't break their hearts.
I think first of all, you have to figure out why it's so hard to agree between your parents' thoughts and ours. There is a big difference between the era in which our parents grew up and the era in which we grew up, they came from a hard life, and we have enjoyed the treatment they have not enjoyed since we were children, and we have not suffered the hardships that our parents suffered when they were children, so it is normal to have inconsistent ideas. Even though the living conditions are better now, the memories of the past of the parents cannot be erased.
Nowadays, in the era of information network, some parents are not familiar with the Internet, and the information they usually receive is different from the information they receive to us, and they are inevitably unfamiliar with trendy ideas and concepts.
Once you get to the cause, you have to prescribe the right medicine. Sit down with your parents and talk calmly, listen carefully to their hard days in the past and understand their hardships at that time, don't listen to them talk about the past and don't want to listen, but also talk to them about your concepts and ideas, explain to them carefully and patiently, communicate with each other, and understand each other. Parents are not familiar with the Internet, so patiently teach them to surf the Internet, let them learn to watch the news to understand today's society, and spread more new ideas to them, and slowly their parents will accept these new things, and you can get closer to some ideas and concepts.
And also to solve the problem of quarrels. The ancients said that there are no parents in the world. I don't agree with this sentence, but it is really hard for my parents to give birth to me and raise me, and we should treat our parents well and be filial to our parents.
If there is a conflict, you must tolerate it, put yourself in their shoes, don't argue with them without giving in, and then tell your parents in detail afterwards, move them with affection and reason, parents are not unreasonable, they will eventually understand you. But parents also have the right place, and the experience they have gained from their life and work over the years is always desirable, and they must learn from the right place. When you are wrong, you must admit your mistakes, don't feel that you can't wipe your face, and there is nothing to be embarrassed in front of your closest people.
In addition, it is also very important to spend more time with your parents, and you can get closer to your thoughts by getting along and chatting more. Parents are old children, and if they feel that they are being ignored by you, they will deliberately contradict you in an attempt to get your attention. To accompany parents more, children are older and leave them will inevitably feel lonely, and deep family affection is also conducive to the exchange of hearts.
After getting married and having children, you should take your children home more, grandparents love their grandchildren, and sometimes they are more willing to accept what their grandchildren say.
Differences in perception are inevitable, but there must be a solution. Be sure to respect your parents' ideas, no matter how mature you think you are, you are a child in front of your parents after all, listen to them more.
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Generally speaking, there will be a generation gap at the age of three, and there is a big age difference between children and their parents, and it is inevitable that they will have different views. But we must be considerate of our parents, who have worked hard to raise us and give us love, and we will not be able to repay this alone. >>>More
Worldview, values, outlook on life.
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It is normal to be different from the three views of our parents, there is a generation gap between us, but some generations are deep and some are shallow. When I was young, I would do it, and when I had a family, I would understand the good intentions of my parents, soSlowly, I can communicate with my parents, even if I can't understand it, but I can accept it. >>>More
I don't have a common language with them, and sometimes I don't have the same opinion, I have a disagreement, and I end up parting happily. I was angry at the time, and the more I thought about it afterwards, the more angry I became. The whole person will lose his temper or something.