How to effectively resolve conflicts arising in communication?

When you find yourself in attack mode, try to replace aggressive language with an expression that feels natural to you.

When (the triggering event) happens, I feel (the emotion of the moment) because (my needs and interests) are really important to me. Would you like to (consider a possible approach)?

Sounds easier said than done, because it is our habitual response to fight back immediately in conflict. But the good news is that our habits can be changed! My grandmother used to say, "If you are scolded, you won't lose two pounds of meat!" Don't be scared away by the other person's emotional and verbal attacks, stay calm and find out the crux of the conflict. <>

When I'm chatting with someone and getting into an argument over a common sense issue, I often say, "You don't even know this? Look it up in the dictionary and look it up on the Internet for ......"Obviously, there will be a quarrel next.

I think I'm giving advice to the other person, but in an argument or conflict, giving advice is often interpreted by the other person as not wanting to listen to him, or showing your own intelligence.

In a conflict, the way we give our assessment of things can provoke the other person's sense of defensiveness and prevent us from receiving important information. The central idea of the book "Nonviolent Communication" is that "observation without comment is the highest form of human intelligence", and only state the facts we observe, without adding our own competent emotions and conclusions.

We use various social networks to obtain the information we need, and in the process of communication, because the information resources of both parties are not equal, and the way of speaking is inappropriate, it will cause disputes and conflicts. It is not uncommon to say a few words and do something, but when both parties calm down, they find that these pointless quarrels can be avoided.

When we have an argument with someone, we usually have two reactions:

1 Avoidance. 2 Quarrels.

We tend to get out of the argument in the first place, even if we haven't figured out the cause and what makes it up, thinking that we can solve the problem by simply keeping ourselves away from the people and situations we hate. But it turns out that this approach has little effect, and the problem is there, and it will not be solved slowly just by putting it aside.

Therefore, it is particularly important to learn to correctly view and resolve conflicts in conversation. The book "Key Techniques for Conflict Resolution" was written by Dana Casparson, an expert in conflict mediation and public dialogue, and I have seen her TED talk "Conflict: Anything is Possible". <

We need to face up to conflict as an opportunity. Since the purpose of the conversation is to obtain useful information to solve the problem, we need to understand the situation of the other person and find out the cause of the conflict, and it does not matter whether we like them or trust them. None of us can completely avoid conflict, and it is difficult to change how others behave in conflict, but we can change our own performance.

When arguing, both sides are very emotional, from talking about things to attacking each other personally, and they can't wait to roll up their sleeves and start fighting. Listening to the other side is hard to do in conflict, and we are always thinking about how to fight back against the other person, rather than listening carefully to what the other person is saying.

So, the first step is: take a deep breath, resist the urge to attack, and change the conversation from the heart.

Scolding each other is pointless and can lead to further physical altercations. "Resisting the urge to attack" doesn't mean we're defenseless or weak, but rather we can shift the focus of the conversation away from the distractions of aggressive language and toward something deeper.

Conflicts in communication are particularly common, for example, intra-departmental communication and cross-departmental communication at work, there will be a lot of conflicts, and there are three core points in conflict handling

One. Put aside your own opinions for a moment and listen to each other's differences

When we are communicating, we need to put our own opinions aside, first empty ourselves for the time being, and really open our hearts to listen neutrally, what does the other party think? What kind of assumptions are behind his ideas? When we can really listen to ourselves, we can really hear what the other person wants to say, his intentions, that is, what he wants to do things, and why does he think about it?

And this is the basis for dealing with conflicts.

Two. Empathy

The so-called empathy, which is no stranger to everyone, is to be able to really look at things from the other person's point of view. When each of us just thinks from our own point of view, it is difficult to resonate with others, and it is difficult to understand others' ideas. When we can think about how I would feel about this if I were the other person, there is a lot of resonance.

Three. Think in terms of the common good

In terms of the common good, what are we going to do with you, what are we going to do together? What is important to us? If you look at it from a larger team, what exactly is most important?

What is the most important thing if you look at it from the perspective of the organization as a whole? When we are able to look beyond the two perspectives of "you and me" and look at things from a third perspective or even a larger system, we can let go of conflicts and find reconciliation.

These are the three core approaches to dealing with conflict.

I am Xiang Lanwen, a professional trainer and professional coach, focusing on leadership improvement, team building, and parent-child education. WeChat*** [Lanwen Warm Heart Fang]. Bring you warmth and wisdom, and support you to achieve yourself, others, and your team through high-quality listening and questioning!

The key to conflict resolution is effective communication, when we have a conflict with others, whether it is a bad word or a silence, the problem will still not be solved, when others and we have a left opinion, you may wish to try to resolve the conflict with the following five points;

l Avoid confrontation.

l Be an active listener.

Speak up about your needs.

Come up with possible solutions to resolve conflicts.

l Committed to a solution.

I experienced a very tangled thing during this year's winter vacation, and the winter vacation is almost the end of the year, my dad urged me to go home early, but I want to intern in Beijing and exercise myself. During that time, I ran various interviews, and I hadn't bought a ticket to go home. One night my dad called me ** and asked me not to look for the internship for so long and I haven't landed yet, I was very tired and in no mood to say too much, and I was angry that I would hang up if I didn't go home for the Chinese New Year this year, and I didn't contact him for a long time.

Actually, I can do this:

First, avoid confrontation: admit that the internship and the ticket have not been completed, and my father wants me to go home as soon as possible, this is a conflict, since it is a conflict, we should face the problem squarely, instead of blaming each other.

Second, active listening: I should try to listen to my father's thoughts, and I should not be angry.

Third, express my needs: I hope to train myself through internships, find a good job when recruiting, and live up to their expectations.

Or find an internship first and use the company's annual leave to go home for a few days. Discuss each of these three options with Dad and decide on a plan that we can all agree on.

Fifth, commit to a solution: Since we agree on a solution, I need to implement it so that we are all satisfied.

The so-called conflict is the unmet needs of the other party, if we can calm down, stand in the other party's point of view, and solve the problem together, the conflict will be easily solved.

Communication barriers can be caused by many reasons, and of course it is not a one-person problem. So, how do you overcome the communication barrier? What are some ways to overcome communication barriers? Here's a list of ways to overcome communication barriers for your reading.

Ways to overcome barriers to communication.

1. Design fixed communication channels and form communication routines.

This approach takes many forms, such as regular meetings, reports, situation reports, and the content of the exchange of information.

Ways to overcome barriers to communication.

Second, the content of the communication should be exact.

The content of the communication should be substantial, pertinent, precise, and as popular, specific and quantitative as possible; Avoid vague language, let alone empty words, clichés and nonsense.

Ways to overcome barriers to communication.

3. The principle of equality.

In interpersonal communication, there must always be a certain amount of effort or investment, and the needs of the two aspects of communication and the degree of satisfaction of this need must be equal, and equality is the premise of establishing interpersonal relationships. As a psychological communication between people, interpersonal communication is active, mutual, and interactive. Everyone has the need for friendship and respect, and they all want to be treated equally by others, and this need of people is the need of equality.

Ways to overcome barriers to communication.

4. Advocate parallel communication.

The so-called parallel communication refers to the mutual communication between workshops and workshops, departments and departments, departments and workshops at the same level in the organizational system. It is unwise for some leaders to be preoccupied with the role of arbiter and happy to do so to justify their importance. The important function of leadership is coordination, but coordination here is mainly the coordination of goals and plans, rather than the coordination of daily activities.

Day-to-day coordination should be encouraged as much as possible between peers.

Ways to overcome barriers to communication.

5. Listen sincerely.

Hello, I'm Mr. Wen, I'm happy to serve you, wait a minute, I'm sorting out the answer for you, because the number of consultations is relatively large, so I will seriously help you solve the problem one by one, please be patient.

1) Understand the importance of communication and treat communication correctly;

2) cultivating the art of "listening";

3) Create a small environment of mutual trust and communication;

4) Shorten the information transmission chain, broaden the communication channels, and ensure the unimpeded and complete flow of information;

Ways to Overcome Communication Barriers:

1. Be bold and communicate without scruples;

2. Don't lose communication for the sake of face, if you want to communicate well with others, you must give up face;

3. There is a problem in communication, perhaps because you have not mastered a certain way and method when communicating. When talking, you should listen to others patiently, do not interrupt others, and communicate calmly;

4. Communication is a science, and when encountering difficulties, we should solve them patiently, and with a little more care and inquiry, the barriers between communication will be eliminated;

5. Don't feel that communication is not important or don't care, communication is a science in life, you must have a sincere heart, treat everyone in life seriously, and be more tolerant and kind.

This is indeed unreasonable and inappropriate, so it is not the best way to deal with it.

We should learn to communicate patiently and obtain the understanding of others, so that we can make things more successful, and we will also achieve good communication and coordination, and learn to respect each other.

Therefore, it is very important to have a respectful form of communication, and we must learn to pay attention to it.

1.Keep a calm mind when communicating.

It is important not to be emotional, because being emotional may make communication stuck halfway and unable to communicate, and even lead to abandonment and failure of communication. If you feel particularly irritable and restless in the process of communication because of your emotions, you will have to stop communicating and wait for a period of time to calm down before you can continue to communicate, which will actually make all parties in the communication unhappy.

2. Communicate attitude and respect each other.

The attitude when communicating is also very important, you should communicate modestly and friendly with the other party when communicating, and respect each other when talking, keep the body leaning forward during the conversation, not leaning back, and you can't lean your whole body on the chair, so that the whole person will look lazy.

3. Know how to listen when talking.

Listening is also a point to pay attention to in communication, when talking to others, we should consider the scumbag key to other people's feelings, but also listen to what the other party expresses, so as to better communicate in language, otherwise it is like playing the piano to the cow, this is a clever way to call communication can not achieve the effect at all, and it is easy to misunderstand.

4. Don't always be self-centered.

When talking, you should also pay attention to an important point, don't always think that what you say and do is important, always focus on yourself, and other people's are not important, this situation should be eliminated, which can easily cause others to be disgusted.

Summary. Hello, how to deal with the conflict in the process of communication, for you to answer: 1. Accommodation, accommodation refers to the other party to the conflict, willing to put the interests of the other party above their own interests, make self-sacrifice, follow the views of others, so as to maintain a friendly relationship with each other.

2.Avoidance, avoidance refers to the attitude of one party to the conflict that is aware of the existence of the conflict, but ignores and gives up, and does not take any measures to cooperate with the other party, or protect its own interests, but rather a way to avoid it. The method of avoidance is neither cooperative nor persistent, and has little demand for oneself and the other person.

Under certain conditions, it may be advisable to adopt an avoidance strategy. 3.Cooperation, cooperation refers to the initiative to discuss problems with each other frankly, find mutually beneficial solutions, as much as possible to maximize the interests of both parties, without anyone to make concessions to the solution.

4.Compromise refers to a way in which both parties to the conflict are willing to give up some of their views and interests, and share the benefits or results of conflict resolution.

Hello, how to deal with the conflict in the process of communication, for you to answer: 1. Accommodation, accommodation refers to the other party to the conflict, willing to put the interests of the other party above their own interests, make self-sacrifice, follow the views of others, so as to maintain a friendly relationship with each other. 2.

Avoidance, avoidance refers to the attitude of one party to the conflict who is aware of the existence of this joke, but ignores and gives up, does not take any measures to cooperate with the other party, or protect its own interests, and hopes to avoid it. The method of avoidance is neither cooperative nor persistent, and has little demand for oneself and the other person. Under certain conditions, you may wish to adopt an avoidance strategy.

3.Cooperation, cooperation refers to the initiative to discuss problems with each other frankly, find mutually beneficial solutions, as much as possible to maximize the interests of both parties, without anyone to make concessions to the solution. 4.

Compromise refers to a way in which both parties to the conflict are willing to give up some of their views and interests, and share the benefits or results of conflict resolution.

Related extension: From the perspective of communication, conflict is not a problem that we need to deliberately avoid, but a process that will inevitably arise when a person gets along with others and is used to express his sense of existence. In conflict communication, we are not concerned with seeking a specific conclusion or answer to a question, but rather to vent suppressed emotions, express one's feelings, and promote mutual understanding through the occurrence of conflict.