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Sanmao once said: When a person opens his mouth to make a request, he has two answers prepared in his heart. Therefore, it is expected to give him any one of the answers.
So, don't be afraid to reject people, and don't be aggrieved by being rejected.
First of all, you have to understand how normal it is to be rejected.
No one in this world has the obligation to help you, even if it is your own parents, others help you with affection, and it is your duty not to help. In this fast-paced life, everyone is busy with their own business, and those who can sacrifice their precious time to help others are grateful, and who doesn't want to have more time to enjoy their time quietly?
Second, think about what caused the other person to reject you.
Any kind of experience in life can bring us something to some extent, it doesn't matter if you are rejected, the important thing is to make yourself grow, think about the real reason behind the matter, the other party rejected his request, whether his request is a little difficult for him to accept, or he has been busy with other things recently and really can't take care of it, or is there something wrong with the way he makes his request? Or is it that your own ability is not up to the level of letting the other party spend time for you? If you really can't think of a reason, you can talk to the other person tactfully.
Finally, thank each other sincerely, keep in touch, and focus on yourself at the same time.
Even if you are rejected, please sincerely express your gratitude to the other party, buying and selling is not benevolent, this does not affect the relationship you only see, the road of life is still very long, maybe one day who needs whose help, even if there is no exchange of interests, you are friends, aren't you?
So don't dwell on the loss of rejection, asking someone for help is just one of the ways to solve the problem yourself, since it didn't work, you might as well try to think of other methods. At the same time, making friends is actually a process of resource reciprocity, the other party refuses their request, it may also be that their abilities in some aspects need to be improved, and they strive to improve themselves better than anything else, what do you think?
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If it's me, I don't think it's okay, I can ask someone else to help. If you really can't do it, you can try to solve it yourself.
Just because your friend rejects your request for help doesn't necessarily mean they don't want to help you. It may be that he really can't help you, but it's inconvenient for him to say why he can't help you, and it may be that saying the reason will expose his shortcomings. It could also be that some conditions are limited and cannot help you. <>
Therefore, I should not feel sad in my heart, and I should consider it from many aspects. Of course, I don't rule out the possibility that I don't want to help you. You also have to start from the thing you ask for help with, maybe you have a lot of formalities and troublesome processes, and people are not willing to do it. Friends, understand each other.
You can go to other people for help, there will always be someone willing to help you, even if they can't help you, they will give you ideas. So don't be frustrated and feel that your friend is not doing you a favor, whether you are doing something wrong. Don't think so. A friend may also have his own difficulties.
When you encounter something, no matter what happens, think about the good first. Don't think about the bad side immediately after rejection, which is also bad for your own psyche.
In this life, people will inevitably encounter rejection, and they will be hit even worse. But what we have to do is not to be sad, to be sad. It's about thinking about how you can solve it and make yourself better.
Just like this matter, it's a big deal to be rejected, and you can handle it yourself. You can ask your elders, classmates or teachers, and figure it out for yourself. In the end, it is still up to you to be realistic.
What's more, if you are depressed and can't adjust your mentality because you are rejected for help from a friend, can you continue to do other things in the future?
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Think of it this way: if your friend refuses your request for help, it's probably because your friend can't help you, not because he doesn't want to help you. In fact, a person should have learned to say no, not a friend who asks you for help, even if you can't do it, you have to agree.
A person who knows how to reject others without harming them is assertive. I'm a person who refuses others, and I'm embarrassed to refuse others, friends ask me for help, I can do it, I also agree, I feel that I have difficulties in helping and agree, anyway, I just do my best to help friends, if I don't help friends in the end, I will blame myself, in fact, this is not good, I can help on the promise, feel that I have difficulties in helping don't agree, to learn to refuse tactfully. <>
If your friend refuses your request for help, you should think about it from your friend's point of view now, and see if he has any difficulty with your request, since your friend can't help you, you have to think of a solution for yourself.
Some people will feel that a friend has rejected their request for help, then this friend is not a real friend, it is not like this, the friend must have his own reason for rejecting you, you can't be angry with your friend because of this, you can talk to your friend for a good time.
When you are in trouble, your friend must be able to help, no one can deliberately refuse you, maybe he really has no way to help you to refuse you, you must not alienate your friends because of this. Compared with friends, friends are the most important, difficulties can be solved by themselves, but friends are lost forever, we must measure the relationship between the two, adjust our psychology, don't lose a friend because of a little thing.
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This is an era of mutual help, no one can live a life without being helped by others, and the teaching of teachers from childhood is also to help each other, but many people will think that others cannot refuse their request for help, because they are their friends and need help themselves, so is this thinking correct?
The answer, of course, is no, although this is a time when you need to help each other, but no one is obligated or responsible to help you. Everyone is an independent individual, everyone has their own things to do, and others may not be able to help you in this matter, even if they can help you, others have the right to refuse you.
Helping you is a feeling, not an obligation. Originally, your lover's help is to trouble others again, so others also have the right to refuse, and he doesn't owe you anything, so people have the right not to help you.
It's not that when did you start to help each other, and when someone refuses your request, it's like doing something unforgivable, and ignoring that if you ask someone else for help, there is a possibility of rejection, so it's not an unexpected thing for people to refuse you, and you should consider that there will be a rejection when you ask others to help you.
When a friend rejects you, you should think that your friend may have his own affairs, he also has to have his own affairs busy, he is your friend, not a servant who serves you, so she is determined to help you may also have her own unspeakable secrets, so you can't blame him, you should choose to try to understand him. Instead of complaining and resenting him, it is immoral to do so. You have to remember that friends have an obligation to help you, but also have the right to refuse you.
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The reason why your friend doesn't help you may be because he can't do anything about it, so he refuses your request. Therefore, in our later life, we must also learn to refuse things that we cannot do.
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You should learn to understand what your friends do, after all, it is good to help, and it is not wrong not to help, after all, it is not their obligation.
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You don't have to worry too much, your friend can solve it by himself and doesn't need your help, you just look at it.
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Someone else asks you to do something that is right and beneficial, and you don't want to do it because you feel that you are not capable of doing it. In this case, you have to say no to it outright, and tell the other party about your difficulties and let them make another arrangement. Don't be vague and misunderstand that you don't want to help.
For example, the work assigned to you by the leader is beyond your ability, you must explain it clearly to the leader, otherwise the leader will think that you do not obey the arrangement, steal tricks, and be afraid of the severity, which will have a negative impact on you in the future!
If someone asks you to do something that violates your principles, even violates the system, or even violates the law, you have to be straightforward and "I can't do it". Sometimes, depending on the priority of the matter, you can also politely refuse, so that the other party will not dislike you, and let him not open his mouth after knowing such things.
Let's take a simple example. My cousin's classmates asked her to be a bridesmaid, in my cousin's opinion, this is the trust of her classmates, and if she doesn't go, her classmates will think that she is not interesting enough and will be very disappointed; But the reality may also be that her classmates have already asked a lot of people, and no one else is available, so she asked her cousin by the way. It would be better if the cousin could go, and she couldn't go and ask the others.
It is this "information imbalance" that causes the difference in mentality between the two people. So you can turn down a request that goes against your will and help someone you don't think deserves your help.
Stick to my own inner thoughts! I think a person is always hesitant to make the problem difficult, so you must have your own opinion on everything! I decided to do it, and I did it!
The problem is solved! There are only a few real friends in life who need to be treated with sincerity, try to help others as much as possible, if you really can't do it, don't make too many promises, to avoid losing your credit, but you are in a dilemma.
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Why do others like to ask you for help, is it a kind of information that you can ask others for help in your usual performance, or is your appearance and image giving others such an illusion. If you clearly can't help, or if the help has already affected you, it is recommended that you decline outright and make it clear that you can't help. If you feel that you can't say the way to refuse directly, then give a clear reason to make the other party feel that it is difficult for you to be strong.
If you hesitate and hesitate, you will make the other person feel that their request has a chance to be fulfilled.
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You should be direct with him and say that you don't want to help him with this, so that he won't ask you for help in the future.
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You can decisively refuse. Only by decisively refusing will he know what you think and will not ask you for help again.
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You can refuse tactfully, which will not affect your relationship and achieve the purpose of rejecting the other party.
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Euphemistic. When we encounter other people's requests and we don't want to do it, we need to say no with euphemism. For example, if you want to borrow money, you can use a tactful way, say:
I'm sorry, I've been short on money lately, so I can't help you, I'm sorry. Similar refusals.
Vague. When someone asks you for something, don't react directly, act as a listener, talk about something that you don't have, avoid practical questions, and talk about some ambiguous things. In this way, in a daze, you can reject the other person.
This approach requires putting on a state of sincerity. Practice slowly on a regular basis.
Help. The point of help here is that when someone asks for it, and it is difficult for you to do it, then first express your position of refusal, and then give the other party some ways to solve this request. Just transfer the object you request.
Success or not, he won't blame you. I will still thank you, because you indirectly accepted his request.
Humor. The humor here is that some humorous ways and words can be used when refusing. not only maintained the other party's self-esteem, but also allowed himself to successfully refuse his request. Humor is an art that needs to be responded to humorously according to the actual situation.
Direct. Sometimes no matter what method you use to refuse, the other party will be stalked. In the face of this situation, don't care about the relationship and face.
Since the other party is stalked, you have no choice but to refuse directly. Although it will affect the relationship between the two in the future, it is also the best and most effective way to refuse. Since he doesn't think about you, you don't need to think about him.
Crying poor. Crying poverty here does not just refer to the situation where someone borrows money from you, it can be applied in many situations. Rejection through self-deprecation.
Such as; If someone wants you to drink and you don't want to drink, you can say: I'm really sorry, the amount of alcohol is not good, it's easy to mess around if you drink too much, and you will be beaten by your daughter-in-law when you go home. When others hear this, they will laugh and say that you are afraid of your daughter-in-law, but they will not let you drink anymore.
This method of rejection is very practical.
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Your question is a bit broad, what type of money does it need to be targeted, what does it refer to, if it is borrowing money or something, and you don't have the amount he needs, you can directly refuse, after all, your money is not dropped by the world.
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1. Don't say no right away: Saying no right away will make people think that you are an indifferent and ruthless person, and even think that you have prejudices against him.
2. Don't refuse easily: Sometimes if you reject others easily, you will lose many opportunities to help others and gain friendship.
3. Don't refuse in anger: Rejecting others in anger is easy to hurt others in language and make people think that you have no sympathy at all.
4. Don't refuse casually: If you refuse too casually, others will think that you don't value him, which is easy to cause disgust.
5. Don't refuse ruthlessly: Ruthless rejection means a cold expression, a stern tone, and no room for accommodation, which will make people embarrassed and even turn against each other.
6. Don't be arrogant in refusal: A domineering person with an arrogant attitude will never like to be close to him. Moreover, when he asks for something from you, and you refuse with an arrogant attitude, others will not accept it.
7. Be able to refuse tactfully: there is really a last resort.
If you can explain it tactfully and refuse with a tactful attitude, others will still be moved by your sincerity.
8. Refuse with a smile: When you refuse, you must be able to smile and have a solemn attitude, so that others can feel your respect and politeness to him, even if you reject it, you can accept it gladly.
9. There should be an alternative refusal: I can't help with what you asked me for, I will use another way to help you, so that he will still be very grateful to you.
10. Refuse to have a way out: At the same time, if you can provide other ways to help him come up with another way out, it will actually help him.
Ten. 1. Helpful refusal: That is, although you refuse, you give him some help in other ways, which is a kind of compassionate and intelligent refusal.
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First of all, you have to show your attitude and tell him directly that he is only a friend, an ordinary friend, and if he is willing to be only a friend, then it should also be a good thing.