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I think I can try to reason with them, after all, they are not small, and there are some things that they will understand, and they can start from the following points.
1.Try this to compare yourself to some of your best peers.
Parents can try to say some of the young people around them, try to find their resonance, talk about their advantages, the advantages of their children, let them understand in their hearts, in fact, they also have a lot of strengths, let them try to do things on their own, encourage them a lot, I believe it will have a certain effect, because children are actually sometimes the most lacking is the understanding of parents, and the attitude of people, in fact, who of us does not care about the opinions of people around us? Everyone cares, they young people care more than we should be, the second is to communicate with children must pay attention to their own words and deeds, double hair must not have conflicts, some parents in the child when communicating, two sentences do not understand the anger, in fact, we should understand, if two age groups can fully say each other can understand, this is not possible, we must try to stand in the child's perspective to think about what he said, do these things.
2.Think about your own reasons.
In fact, children choose to gnaw the old, sometimes it is not necessarily the child's fault, parents should think about whether they sometimes take care of them like they used to take care of their children, whether they have developed the habit of dependence, if they develop this habit, then they will choose to gnaw the old, there is a reason, if it is this reason, parents must find a way to let the child get rid of this habit of dependence, tell them to do their own things, no one will take care of them for a lifetime, Only they themselves will take care of themselves for the rest of their lives.
3.Communicate with your child.
In fact, parents communicate more with their children, on the one hand, they can understand their children's real thoughts, and secondly, they can communicate more as a family and listen to each other's ideas, so that they can get along well, and it is also convenient to guide children's wrong thoughts.
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Parents should choose to cut off financial ties with these adults. It is only when they are financially cut off that these adults know how to work their own.
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Parents can communicate with their children, although I can make you very old now, but when we are old, if you don't have a job, there is no way to go on, and you still have to rely on your own financial independence.
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For parents who are not in a good financial situation, it is necessary to tell their children about the actual situation at home and let him work hard to change the status quo. And for parents with better financial conditions, they need kind lies, don't let their children know the financial situation of their families, and let them have the motivation to struggle.
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Parents have the right not to continue to raise them, because they are already adults, they can find jobs on their own, and they are not in the state of studying, but choose to stay at home, and parents should refuse to let their children continue to gnaw at old age.
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Parents should refuse to gnaw at their old age in time, establish the concept of self-reliance in their children, and encourage them to develop an independent character.
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The first is to talk to the child about his future, and the other is to cut off his economy, not to feed him if he doesn't work, and not to let him live at home, so that he can support himself.
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As a parent, you should tell your child that he should go out to work, what will be the harm if he does not work, and let him go out to work through this education.
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Adult children don't work to gnaw on the old, most of them have something to do with their parents, and the children will let them gnaw on their parents, and they have no money to give, and they don't have anything to eat, and they are always afraid that their children will be wronged. In fact, parents should be ruthless, resolutely do not ask about this kind of child, starve him for a few days, freeze him a few times, and let them figure out their own way.
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Tell your children to do it themselves. Learn technology while you're young, do something about your career, and prepare for your future and family. We'll be gone someday, and who will we gnaw at that time! You have to act quickly, pick yourself up, and get things done!
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Parents also have no way to completely get rid of their children, because now the pressure of car loans, housing loans and life is relatively large, and young people have no way to rely on their own ability to manage a good life.
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Parents have no choice but to try their best to support their children, because now that social life is stressful, their wages cannot survive.
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You should show your attitude, do not give your child any financial ability, let your child develop a good habit of independence, and let your child work his own.
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The most correct thing to do is not to give the child money directly, and cut off his life.
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You should communicate well with your children, tell them that they must find a job, they must have the ability to earn money, and they must let their children be independent.
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I think it's to tell them that you are a normal person and an adult, that your parents have done too much for you, and that you have to learn to be filial to them.
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In today's society, there are indeed some young people who have a high degree of education and a good resume, but are unwilling to go out to work, and would rather stay at home to gnaw at the old, so what is the specific reason for this situation? Let's talk about it.
Reason 1: Unable to adapt to the cruel environment of society.
For young people who are about to enter the society, they think that they are very good, but when they really go out to look for a job, they are instantly hit by their enthusiasm and self-confidence, and then they become particularly reluctant to find a job. There are also some young people who do find a job and want to show their strength in their work, and walk to the peak of life step by step with their own efforts, but the reality is that it is difficult to make a difference at work, and they think that their work limits their development, so they resign and gnaw at home.
Reason 2: Generally good family economic foundation.
Many young people are only children, and the material conditions created by their parents are relatively good, and some young people have no motivation to make money by relying on their superior family conditions. And in such a family, if the child is unwilling to go out to find a job, the parents will not blame too much.
Reason 3: I can't find a job I like.
Nowadays, many people are reluctant to go out to work and gnaw at home, not because they can't find a job, but because they can't find a job they like. Because in their opinion, the time spent working will occupy most of their daily time, and if they don't choose the job they like, it will be very painful and difficult to go to work. So in the eyes of these people, they can't find a job they like, and they would rather gnaw at the old all the time.
Reason 4: Addicted to virtual networks and unwilling to face the harsh reality.
In this era of network information, many people make a lot of money on the Internet. The other part of the people who can't bear the pressure are addicted to the virtual world every day, playing games at home, chasing dramas, and unwilling to face the cruel world, and some young people have become people with social phobia, afraid of stepping into the workplace environment, so they gnaw at the old at home.
In fact, there is no easy word in the adult world, and no job is easy. If we have been gnawing at home after graduation, we are really sorry for the years we have been studying, and the parents who have worked hard to nurture us.
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First, the parents provided excellent conditions.
Some people usually have a more "dignified" view of money, thinking that the salary is "humiliating" themselves, and it is not as high as the monthly living expenses given by their parents! Some people are looking for a job that does not want the size of the company to be less than 100 people, does not want to go to a manufacturing factory, and the welfare package of the enterprise is better. If a large enterprise gives an offer of 2500, it will consider going to work; And a small startup company gives an offer of 2500 and will not hesitate to decline.
I feel that the recruitment conditions of large companies with conditions and treatment are too harsh, and I have to go through many interviews. If you can't reach your own ability, you naturally can't enter the door of a large company. And some small enterprises that can enter, they feel that they can't look down on it.
So I put myself in an embarrassing situation where I couldn't get high or low.
3. Social phobia, unwilling to deal with people.
Society is far more complicated than we think, and some students are afraid to enter society and are afraid to deal with other people for various reasons. This symptom has been evident since they were students, but in fact, from the bottom of their hearts, they also want to find a job and have their own circle. But I am very afraid of the crowd and afraid to face society alone.
So it's not that they don't go to work, but they don't dare to work.
For the sake of the child's tomorrow, parents need to wean first, they can't bear it now, and it will be even more late in the future, emotionally comforting, mentally encouraging, and financially controlled.
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Because they may not be able to find a job that suits them, and work will make them unhappy, they would rather live at home than go out to work.
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Because they are incapable, because they are lazy, because they don't want to work, they are free at home, they are supported by their parents, and they have been hurt since they were young.
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Because these adults have not grown up in essence and want to be a giant baby, they feel that all kinds of jobs in society are facing a lot of risks, and they are too lazy to communicate with others, and they don't want to work hard physically, but fortunately they are stuck at home, waiting to live with their parents' pensions, which are a group of people who are not very motivated.
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Communication and understanding: In the family, communication and understanding are very important and model. You can talk to your family about your financial situation and difficulties so that they know where you are so that they can better understand your situation.
2.Fair and reasonable: If you can afford to send money to your family, then it is a sign of filial piety.
However, you also need to consider your financial ability and burden, and do not overly harm your own interests. You can provide appropriate help and support to your family according to your financial situation.
3.Personal development: As an adult, you also need to think about your own personal development and independence.
If your financial situation does not allow you to send money to your family after work, you can also improve your financial situation and help your family by improving your ability to earn money.
In short, filial piety is one of the traditional virtues of our Chinese nation, but filial piety also needs to be carried out under the premise of reasonableness and fairness. You need to make appropriate decisions and arrangements based on your financial situation and burden, as well as the actual situation of your family.
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It's not necessarily anyone's fault for gnawing at home, it depends on the specific situation and the cause. Here are some of the conditions that can lead to gnawing at home::
1.Economic conditions: If an adult does not have the financial means to live independently, then he may be forced to stay at home. This can be due to economic problems such as unemployment, low income, debt, etc., and it is not their fault.
2.Health problems: Some adults may fluid and unable to live independently due to physical or mental health issues. In this case, gnawing on the old may be necessary, not their fault.
3.Cultural traditions: In some cultures, it is common for adult children to stay at home with their parents and are seen as a form of family responsibility. In this case, it is not their fault that they gnaw the old.
However, if an adult continues to rely on their parents at home when it is not necessary, they may be perceived as having no positive attitude towards life, a lack of responsibility, or a lack of willingness to pursue independence. In this case, the responsibility for their gnawing and burying the old age should be shared between themselves and their parents.
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Why do many young people still have to gnaw at the old after they get married?
Many families of children, from childhood to everyone, parents say that even if the child has reached adulthood, it is still the children in general pampering, saying that there is no self-care ability to live in many without exaggeration. The children get married, the parents think they will go out, they don't even raise the cost of the cost, they are afraid that both young people are indifferent and still live together at that time, and the old people still live together and can help. There is also the power of parental control, from the heart, unwilling for the children to feel that his son, or that he is alienated, so accept that the child continues to grow old, and the sense of security is.
Parents are the losers of education. They were not taught from an early age what it means to be self-reliant and hardworking. These questions not only remain in their own meaning, allowing them to know what true self-reliance and diligence are; Establishing people without knowledge, but also making them feel labor, is not in this point of view.
Truth and practice are two different things. The other two, always think that their children are the highest. It is not a mistake to love a child, but to love a child seeks a way to love him.
Don't love children to be your children? Don't love how your child grows up? Too much love is to hurt the child, "not diligent on all sides".
You always listen to the saying: what is the baby's big bowl and what should I do with this job? They will think that their child is better than others and do not let him go to work.
Children's growth is not only in book knowledge, but also in the inability to ignore social knowledge. Let him love labor, love life, know how to relate to himself, self-discipline. Just now, you also loved your home; Do not teach them to be actively involved in work, learn to earn money, you want you to give you, he will become a habit, in any case, it is money, because you have a salary.
It is better to teach people to give "good provenance!" "Three talks, help, encouragement. Sit down and talk about it, change the current life situation; Help your child get a job, encourage your child, and you'll do it.
When he has an income, he will encounter money that is not so good, and he will understand how to pay.
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