I m going to get married at the end of the year, but I have frequent quarrels, what should I do?

Although the most important thing you need at this time is to calm down and talk, before you go to sit down with the other person, you may want to think carefully: "Is my love for him so easily drained?" Although it is often said that marriage is the grave of love, this is not necessarily the case.

Marriage is like this, it is full of trivial things, it is not like love, it only needs both parties to like each other from the heart, and it is not like falling in love, which can be reckless. Marriage is when two people live together, earn money together to support their families, and plan their future lives together. The beginning of marriage needs love, but love will be constantly polished in marriage, gradually smoothed out the edges and passion, love in marriage is not like fire to burn both of them, but like a hundred years of wine as mellow but intoxicating.

If you understand this, if you still want to hold the hand of your son with him and grow old with him, and he still wants to live with you from the bottom of his heart, then you can suppress your temper and have a conversation. This conversation should not involve anything about the wedding banquet, just just two people. Talk about your common hobbies, imagine your future days together, look forward to your honeymoon in a few months, and talk about how to teach your child after raising him.

If in the end of the conversation, you don't feel at a loss or can't see hope for the future, then it seems that your problem is not only in the big event of marriage, but also in the fact that the two of you may only be suitable for falling in love, but not for marriage, then I suggest breaking up early, so as not to start regretting it when you get really married, and the long pain is better than the short pain; But if you talk very happily and don't blush and have a thick neck quarrel like discussing the wedding banquet, then it seems that your problem is only in the details of marriage, there is no problem with the fundamental emotional foundation, and they are two people who are compatible, then you might as well accommodate each other and tolerate each other.

Although marriage is a very important point in life, there is no need to make it too cumbersome and troublesome, in the final analysis, marriage is just a matter of the two of you, just a formality, and the most important thing is whether you are willing to spend the rest of your life with each other.

When you were about to get married, I felt that the quarrel between the two of you might be caused by the two of you putting too much psychological pressure on yourself, and you also said that both of you are very short-tempered. Not the kind of person who is very gentle, so the way the two of you deal with problems will be very similar because you are the same type of person. As you can imagine, neither of you is willing to give in to each other and make changes.

For example, if you book a hotel or a wedding scene, the two of you may have a disagreement, and neither of you will be willing to back down. So you have to learn to communicate with each other.

I think it's normal for this to happen before marriage. Because you are about to change from a relationship of love to a relationship of husband and wife. When you are in a relationship, you will have many options, you can choose to give up on him, not to be with him, or you can choose to be with him, the choices at this time are manifold.

But when you get married, you have to think about your family first and consider his feelings. Because when you get married, you become each other's only.

Marriage and love are two states. When you are in love, you can be very willful and very vexatious, but marriage is when two people leave their parents, two people unite with each other, and you form a new family. You have to be responsible for this family, responsible for each other, responsible for your future in the future, and have a strong sense of responsibility in it.

So when you have a disagreement, don't quarrel, it's a very emotional thing. You need to communicate with each other and understand each other's ideas. Don't suffer it all by yourself.

Be sure to let the other person know what you really think and why you're doing it. Everyone needs to be understood. And the subject of communication, whether it is now or in the future, you need to learn and find your own correct way of communication.

Personally, if you quarrel frequently before you get married, then you should pay attention to the content and method of your quarrel to consider whether you should get married. The period before marriage is indeed the most prone to conflicts, but the more this time, the more you can see whether a person is suitable to spend a lifetime with you.

Why do you say that, it's not that I'm disappointing you, but in marriage, the degree of harmony between two people really determines the degree of happiness in the future.

If a lot of quarrels are because of your vexatious quarrels, then I think the main reason is that you, even after getting married, excessive vexatiousness is undesirable, and it is also a big killer to ruin the marriage, so you must get rid of this bad habit of vexatiousness.

But if the quarrel is caused by a disagreement in life, I think you can pay more attention to his attitude, whether he must insist that he will not give in, or will he still compromise and give in to you in the end. If it is a man who must insist on not giving in no matter what, then such a man's machismo is very serious, and in the future in marriage, you may not have the share of speaking and deciding things at home, and this result you must first understand clearly, and then decide whether to live such a life.

In fact, there will definitely be a time for two people to quarrel together, and the time before marriage, although it is the most warm and romantic time, but it is also the time when there are the most things, all kinds of things to prepare for marriage, all kinds of annoyance, I still remember the time before I got married, it really seems that everything and the in-laws can not agree with each other, fortunately I am better at talking, but no matter how good I speak, there will be a time when I insist, I clearly remember that I bought fabric or leather for the sofa and quarreled with my husband, It's ridiculous to think about it now.

It's not terrible to quarrel, but what is terrible is that after the quarrel, you can continue to be together regardless of your previous suspicions, so it's okay.

I advise you to carefully decide whether there is still a need for this marriage. After getting married, most of the things you face are trivial things in life, if you have endless quarrels because of these trivial things before marriage, then how to maintain your life after marriage. Marriage should be mutually tolerant and respectful, considerate and tolerant, rather than taking everything into account.

Moreover, I always feel that quarrels are not terrible, but terrible that quarrels do not have a result. If you love each other, one of you must be willing to make concessions, but in your current situation, you are always arguing, the quarreling feelings are fragmented, but there is still no result, and no one is willing to compromise. For example, the question of who to invite and who not to invite can be discussed by two people, and there is no need to quarrel at all, but you should both want each other to obey your own arrangement, which is bound to be very conflicting.

Both people are more impatient, and they are unwilling to make concessions and compromises for each other, such a relationship is like living in dire straits every day, if life is calm and fine, but whenever something happens and you need to decide together, then you will still quarrel endlessly. Personality is the result of so many years of formation, not that you can change if you want to, maybe the other party has also thought about making some changes for you, but whenever there is a disagreement in things, you still can't control yourself.

While you haven't gotten married yet, while you're still in time, sit down and talk about whether the two people are really suitable, and whether they really want to get married. A wedding, there will be so many contradictions, so many inconsistencies, a lifetime is so long, you will have to face a lot of ups and downs together in the future, if you don't work together, how to resist together.

Then you have to communicate well to see if you are suitable for marriage. If it's just premarital anxiety, then you have to adjust your mentality and calm yourself down.

I think you should tolerate each other, after all, you have both decided to get married. If you really feel that each other is not suitable, then you should make a decision as soon as possible, otherwise the nature of marriage will be different.

Maybe it's because I'm a little nervous before marriage, and I should go more to get rid of this kind of interference and talk more about it.